Why did this happen to me?

  Trauma…

Abuse
Rape
Molestation
Divorce
Betrayal
Rejection
Abandonment
Domestic Violence
Death of a Loved One

The list goes on and on. These are all horrible things that can happen to us as we go through life. Traumatic events such as those above and others can cause intense pain in our hearts, minds and spirits!

We may ask ourselves the question, “Why did this happen to me?”  That is a dangerous question because it can lead to bitterness, anger, resentment, blaming God, or blaming ourselves. The pain from traumatic experiences can relentlessly torment us unless we receive healing and freedom from that pain and trauma. When deeply painful things happen to us, including the death of a loved one, betrayal, divorce, abuse, or any other traumatic event, we can be overwhelmed with so much emotional pain that it can lead to physical illness. Yes, the emotional and/or spiritual pain that we carry can, and often does, lead to short-term (acute) and long-term (chronic) physical illness.

The answer is not to allow the pain from the trauma to destroy us, or our relationships with the Most High God. The answer is not to stuff the pain. The answer is not to medicate it with illegal drugs. The answer is not to drown it in alcohol. The answer is not to do anything else harmful to try to deaden the pain. However, there are times, especially for those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), that medication is necessary and helpful to treat severe symptoms that are the result of extreme, life-threatening trauma. Medication may also be necessary to treat physical illness that results from trauma. However, the overuse of any medication can lead to addiction, which is often the result of deep emotional pain.

We must do our best not to focus on why the traumatic situations happened in our lives. Focusing on how to be more than conquerors through God in Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 8:37-39) is much better for our emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. The ultimate answer to the emotional and spiritual pain we suffer is to seek healing through Jesus Christ—the Healer. He came to set the captives free. He came to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18). 

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”  Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

There is so much that we have yet to learn about how pain and trauma affect our brains, our spirits, our DNA, and everything about us. However, as long as we continue to strive to receive the healing we need and not just give in to the pain, there is hope. The hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ came to heal the brokenhearted! As I stated above, we all have free wills. That is how we are able to accept God’s gift of salvation through the birth, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. We are all given the opportunity to sincerely ask Jesus to be our personal Lord and Savior and spend eternity in Heaven. When we do that, we can have real hope.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13 (NKJV)

If you are in such intense emotional pain that you are using illegal drugs or over using prescribed drugs to medicate it, drowning it in alcohol, or participating in some other addiction or behavior that helps you to numb the pain, you need to realize that the cause of the pain must be addressed. We have to admit that we are brokenhearted. We have to acknowledge that the pain is damaging our relationships with others, especially our relationships with God. We have to draw as close to Him as we can, seek His healing, and seek His restoration. We must reach out for help in getting free and healed from the emotional and spiritual pain. There is help available through Christian prayer ministers and others who use the Holy Bible as their basis for helping people receive needed inner healing.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18 (NASB)

Jesus will never cause you pain. He brings comfort. He brings healing. His healing is not superficial and it is not temporary. It is lasting and it is the only way to get out of the prison that the trauma has put you in. There is a light at the end of the very dark tunnel of emotional and spiritual pain. Jesus is that light!

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. 
Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJV)

We can rejoice in that truth. God loves us with an everlasting love! He wants us to know that there is help available for the healing of our broken hearts through His Son, Jesus!

Kathy Shelton

Jesus Came to Heal Broken Hearts!

We have all been brokenhearted at one or more times during our lives.  The pain that we experience as a result of traumatic situations can be emotional, mental, spiritual, and even physical—and it can be intense!  Biblical, inner healing prayer ministry in Jesus’ name can help heal our broken hearts and release that pain.  It is a blessing from our Most High God to receive inner healing—freedom from emotional and/or spiritual pain and trauma.

Inner healing is the healing of emotional and spiritual pain that was caused by traumatic events.  Many of them were experienced in early childhood.  We all need inner healing because we have all been wounded emotionally and spiritually at some time in our lives.  Examples of traumatic events are emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, spiritual abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, being the victim of a violent crime, the death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, and natural disasters.  These events all cause our hearts to be broken.  The good news is that Jesus came to heal broken hearts! 

When past pain or trauma is triggered, a person can act out of character, or react to a situation in a way that is out of proportion to what happened.  Until the pain and trauma are released and the broken parts of our hearts are healed, the cycle repeats itself.  To make matters worse, trauma piggybacks trauma and pain piggybacks pain.  They pile up within us.  The more pain and trauma that we suffer over the years, the more the resulting effects will be devastating and overwhelming to our minds, hearts, spirits and bodies.

“…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…”     Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

Luke 4:18 is a quote from Jesus Christ.  Almighty God loves us very much!  He does not want us to go through our lives carrying deep, and often debilitating, emotional and spiritual pain.  Jesus Christ, God’s Son, was born on this earth, died a horrific death and rose from the dead to set us free from sin and to heal our broken hearts!  The first step to freedom from pain and trauma is to sincerely accept Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.  We must ask God for forgiveness for our sins in Jesus’ name and repent by changing our behavior to line up with God’s Word, the Holy Bible.  Then, the healing can begin in our hearts, minds and spirits.

The Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry (HBH) is one type of Biblical, inner healing ministry through which Jesus heals broken hearts and strengthens relationships with Him, our Most High God and the Holy Spirit.  It is not intended to replace other Christian inner healing methods, but to be an additional tool for deep emotional and spiritual healing.  HBH was developed by Kathi Oates and Rev. Andrew Miller.  The Lord launched HBH in New Mexico after I attended the Healing the Brokenhearted Training Seminar in North Carolina in August 2008.

The goal of Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry is for the ministry recipient to be healed and set free from past pain and trauma.  This is accomplished through gentle and loving prayer.  HBH ministry is done under the direction and control of the Holy Spirit.  During a ministry session, Jesus releases pain and trauma so that the ministry recipient can be free from that burden.  However, it is not necessary for the person to remember the trauma that caused the pain in order to receive healing and freedom from it.  Some people have also received physical healing as a result of HBH ministry.

There are other Christian ministries that focus on Biblical inner healing listed on the HELPFUL RESOURCES page on this website’s top menu. Click here: HELPFUL RESOURCES for more information.

 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty [emancipation from bondage, true freedom].   2 Corinthians 3:17 (AMP)

Our Most High God has revealed many things to us in His Word.  One of His promises to us is that healing and true freedom—liberty—are available to His children.  We are given the opportunity as genuine followers of Jesus Christ to pursue and receive Biblically based, inner healing for the pain from traumatic situations that we experienced.  The emotional and spiritual pain that we carry in our hearts, minds and spirits will interfere with our abilities to have close relationships with Almighty God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  It will also hinder our abilities to serve the Lord and to fulfill our God-given destinies.  We cannot fully connect to our heavenly Father while we have pain and trauma buried inside us.  Addressing emotional and spiritual pain and trauma in Christ-honoring ways will set us free and allow us to experience the joy of the Lord!

               Kathy Shelton

 

Are you BLESSED, but a MESS?

The answer to the question, “Are you BLESSED,” is yes if Jesus Christ, the Son of the Most High God, is truly your Lord and Savior!  Then, you are blessed because you can look forward to spending eternity with Him and Father God in Heaven.  However, having a genuine, personal relationship with the Lord does not automatically heal all the pain and trauma in our hearts and spirits.  In spite of having accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and life, you may still be a mess emotionally and spiritually.

The Body of Christ is blessed… but it is a mess!

Please don’t take this the wrong way.  I love our brothers and sisters-in-the-Lord who are genuine followers of Jesus Christ.  However, it is time for us to acknowledge the pain and trauma that the Body of Christ—the true Church—is carrying.  In the same way that people who are not Christians do, sincere Christians have experienced and stuffed pain from past and current trauma. 

Addiction to alcohol, drugs—legal and illegal, pornography, and other forms of escape may be the result of a person trying to numb the emotional, spiritual, and sometimes the resulting physical pain.  Knowing that we experienced emotional or spiritual trauma is not an excuse to continue abusing addictive substances, nor is it an excuse to do other ungodly things to numb the pain.  For some people, addiction can be the result of their free wills, bad choices and evil hearts.  Once we realize that pain and trauma are at the root of an addiction, we must seek help to receive godly freedom.

Situations we experience during our lives that cause pain and trauma, including abuse—emotional, verbal, mental, spiritual, sexual and physical—the death of a loved one, divorce, broken relationships, domestic violence, accidents, natural disasters, rejection, betrayal, and rape, always lead to a broken heart.  There are also untold numbers of wolves in sheep’s clothing who pretend to be Christians and break the hearts of sincere followers of Jesus Christ.  Countless, genuine Christians have broken hearts!

Tragically, the end result of overwhelming pain and trauma can be suicide, or attempted suicide.  When a Christian takes his or her own life, people may think they were not really a believer, but that is unreasonable.  True Christians are just as susceptible to the devastating pain that results from trauma in their lives as are non-believers.  In addition, the devil wants nothing more than to destroy peoples’ lives, especially Christians’ lives.  If he can plant thoughts of committing suicide as a way to escape unimaginable emotional and spiritual pain, he will do just that. 

I have experienced dozens of extremely traumatic situations in my life.  I became a born-again Christian in 1986, but prior to that I was raised Catholic and taught about God and His Son, Jesus.  Sadly, I attempted suicide two times, once in 1972 and the second time in 1982.  When the circumstances occurred that caused crushing, intense emotional pain for me, I just wanted the pain to stop.  I thought that death was the only option.  I was very wrong.  I praise the Most High God that I survived those suicide attempts and became one of His children on October 16, 1986!

As a result of Healing the Brokenhearted prayer ministry that I received in 2008, I learned that emotional pain and trauma from the past that I had suppressed was at the root of those suicide attempts decades earlier. During prayer, Jesus Christ released that emotional pain and trauma!  I praise the Lord that I am now completely free of the emotional and spiritual pain that resulted in those suicide attempts.  Freedom from past pain and trauma through Jesus Christ is lasting freedom! 

Over the years, I have prayed with hundreds of men and women who had stuffed pain for years and often decades. They were a mess, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically.  The emotional and spiritual pain they were carrying was often so overwhelming that the only way they could survive was to deny it even existed.  They were all blessed as followers of Jesus Christ, but they were absolutely brokenhearted.

This is the bottom line—please seek help if you are brokenhearted and feel stuck in the pain and trauma.  There is a HELPFUL RESOURCES page on this website (CLICK HERE).  Genuine Christians have the opportunity to be set free from devastating emotional and spiritual pain and trauma through the precious blood of Jesus Christ, but we must pursue inner healing to be able to fully live out our God-given destinies.

    “…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…”     Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

Luke 4:18 is a quote from Jesus Christ!  Jesus does not want us to go through our lives carrying deep, and often debilitating, emotional and spiritual pain.  The first step to freedom from pain and trauma is sincerely accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior.  Then, the healing can begin in our hearts, minds and spirits.  Jesus loves us very much and wants to set us free! 

Kathy Shelton

 

The Bible and the Brokenhearted

The Bible has a lot to say about those who are brokenhearted.  It also has the answer for us to be able to receive healing and freedom from the emotional pain and trauma that we experienced in our lives regardless of the amount of time that has passed since the painful situations occurred.  The following verses are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible unless noted otherwise.  They are just a few that address the very common human condition of being brokenhearted.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”       Psalm 34:18 (NASB, New American Standard Version)

When we suffer emotional and spiritual pain that are the result of traumatic events such as any type of abuse, the loss of a loved one, divorce, rape, accidents and natural disasters, our hearts will be broken and our spirits will be crushed.  Trauma devastates us in many ways, but our Most High God provides the comfort and healing we need if we have become His children by having genuinely accepted His Son, Jesus Christ, as our personal Lord and Savior.

We need to be living from the heart that God gave us.  Unfortunately, most of us are living from a heart that is broken.  Living from and with a heart that is broken is a miserable manner in which to live.  It is not the Lord’s perfect will for His children.  His perfect will for us is stated in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

Our Most High God also intended for His children to love Him with all their hearts.  If we are living with broken hearts, we cannot love our heavenly Father with whole hearts.  Healing for the pain and trauma that caused our hearts to be broken must be accomplished before we can truly love God with all our hearts.

Stuffing emotional and spiritual pain does not help, but only makes matters worse, because it will eventually come to the surface and it can be like a volcano erupting when that happens.  Crying when we are brokenhearted is very healing and cleansing.  Even though Jesus knew that Lazarus had died and that He was going to raise him from the dead, Jesus groaned in His spirit, was troubled and Jesus wept (John 11:32-35).  He saw the emotional pain that Mary, Larazus’ sister, was experiencing and Jesus cried.  Crying is a healthy reaction to painful and traumatic situations.

“…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…” Luke 4:18

In Luke 4:18 above, Jesus quoted Isaiah 61:1 and then proceeded to add the following:

And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” Luke 4:21

That is the good news—Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted!  Isaiah 53:4 says that Jesus “has borne our griefs (or sicknesses) and carried our sorrows (or pains).”  These nouns, griefs and sorrows, have reference to sicknesses, both spiritual and physical.  Borne and carried mean to take upon oneself or to carry as a burdenJesus died to take our emotional pain but we must release it to Him.  Through gentle, Holy Spirit led prayer, we can release the hidden emotional pain and trauma to Jesus.

“The spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all the inner depths of his heart.” Proverbs 20:27

The Lord wants us to search our hearts and acknowledge areas that need emotional and spiritual healing.  That can be a painful process in and of itself, but the end result of receiving godly healing and freedom from pain and trauma is definitely worth the time and effort involved in the inner healing process.

“A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” Proverbs 15:13

“A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”          Proverbs 17:22

Laughter and having a merry heart is a very important part of the healing process for our broken hearts and crushed spirits.  It does good like medicine and is very healing for our emotional and spiritual pain.  Laughing has many beneficial effects on us emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It is one of the remedies that the Lord created through which we can receive healing when we are brokenhearted.  However, we must deliberately participate in that blessing to receive the healing it provides.  Choosing to laugh and rejoice about something on a daily basis is choosing to have a merry heart!

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,  who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 is God’s plan for the brokenhearted.  He wants to comfort us in all our tribulation—in all our emotional and spiritual pain and trauma.  Once we have received a significant level of emotional and spiritual healing, the Lord desires that we then help comfort other brokenhearted people just as we were comforted by God. 

The Bible clearly states God’s promises and provisions of inner healing for the brokenhearted.   Jeremiah 31:3 tells us that our Most High God loves us with an everlasting love!  1 John 4:9 says, “In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.”  Living through Jesus Christ is the only way that we can receive true and lasting healing for our broken hearts.    

Kathy Shelton

 

What in the world is going on with me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?  You love the Lord Jesus and have sincerely asked Him to be your personal Lord and Savior, but something is blocking you from receiving freedom from ungodly habits and reactions to things.  The sin that we continue to battle in our lives is sometimes the result of past emotional pain and trauma that are festering beneath the surface.  If you find yourself repeatedly “going around the same mountains,” this may be the reason.

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,
But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
Proverbs 15:13 (NKJV)


Our spirits register everything about us from the moment of conception on.  When a person’s countenance is sad, there is a broken spirit involved. 

The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
But who can bear a broken spirit?
Proverbs 18:14 (NKJV)

 
A broken spirit is the result of traumatic events—one time occurrences or on-going situations.  We often suffer traumatic situations as the result of the actions of evil people who have no consciences.  The reality is that much of the trauma we experience is caused by close friends, family and others we trusted who were just pretending to be Christians.  Those traumatic circumstances are even more devastating due to the tremendous betrayal that is part of the trauma.  

Traumatic events include the death of a loved one, divorce, abuse of any kind (sexual, mental, verbal, emotional, spiritual or physical), domestic violence, being the victim of any violent crime, physical illnesses and surgeries, repeatedly moving from one location to another (especially during childhood), natural disasters (fires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc.), and anything else that is extremely upsetting to normal life circumstances.  Trauma can not only break our hearts, but it can also break our spirits!

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling, food, prescription medications, ungodly relationships, cutting oneself, or anything else may be the result of trying to numb emotional pain and trauma from the past or present.  As painful memories from past events are triggered and come to the surface, the associated emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain may be intense.  In an attempt to numb or deaden that pain, an individual may have one, two, three, or more drinks, use drugs, or in some other way try to relieve or deaden that pain.  It may work for a short time, because the activity changes the chemical balance in the person’s brain.  However, it is not a permanent solution and the unbearable emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain eventually surfaces again.  The cycle of numbing the pain, the pain reappearing, and numbing it again can lead to full-blown addiction.


As genuine followers of Jesus Christ, we need to be living from the hearts and spirits that Jesus gave us.  Unfortunately, most of us are living from hearts and spirits that are broken.  Inner healing is the healing of our emotional and spiritual wounds.  Many of them are wounds that we initially experienced in early childhood.  These traumatic experiences often become repressed with time and remain hidden within us, contaminating our souls and distorting our beliefs and behaviors.  If we bury our emotional and spiritual pain, we are burying something that remains alive!  Suppressed emotional and spiritual pain doesn’t just disappear.  It can turn into lingering physical pain.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)
  
A contrite spirit is also translated as a crushed spirit (NASB translation).  Therefore, the verse above reassures us that the Lord saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and proclaim liberty to the captives (Luke 4:18, NKJV).  The Lord wants to heal our broken hearts and spirits!

The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord,

Searching all the innermost parts of his being.
Proverbs 20:27 (NASB)


James 1:4 (NIV) instructs us to become mature and complete, not lacking anything.  This reference is one of many portions of Scripture that highlight our responsibility to work on our maturity.  Once the Lord reveals that some sin in our lives is pain-driven, we must do all we can to pursue Biblical healing and freedom.  We should never use any type of pain as an excuse to sin!

Inner healing is a process like peeling and onion, one layer at a time.  It is not about trying to be perfect all at once.  We all need inner healing, because we have all been wounded emotionally or spiritually to one degree or another.  None of us grew up in a perfect world.  We don’t get healed if we stay in denial about how we are broken.  God does the redeeming, but we choose to mature.  If we are serious about becoming more like Jesus, we must ask Him to show us pain and trauma that He wants to heal in us. 

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
Matthew 22:37 (NKJV)


We were meant to love God with undivided, whole hearts.  Traumatic situations cause our hearts to be broken and divided into many pieces.  The good news is that there is hope!  A genuine, personal relationship with God’s Son, Jesus Christ, can lead to the healing and restoration of our hearts and spirits.  Jesus is the only One who can truly heal broken hearts and spirits!  Many people have received freedom from the effects of emotional and spiritual pain and trauma, including ungodly behavior, sin and addictions, through Biblical, healing prayer ministry.  Jesus Christ came to set the captives free, but sometimes it requires a person, “Jesus with skin on,” to help in the inner healing process.  We all need the encouragement and prayers of trusted, genuine followers of Jesus Christ! 

Do not give up hope!  Jesus loves you and wants to heal your broken heart and spirit.  The Lord will show you the way to receive the healing you need as you focus on loving Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit right where you are at the moment.  The Lord Jesus said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8, NKJV)

Kathy Shelton 

The Pain

Emotional pain.
Physical pain.
Mental pain.
Spiritual pain.

The pain is so real. The pain is so intense. The emotional, physical, mental and spiritual pain from traumatic events can cause people to do many things to try to escape, numb, or cope with the pain they are feeling. It can cause someone to turn to drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, cutting, denial, anger, and other self-destructive behaviors. The pain can lead to addictions to drugs, alcohol or other ungodly coping mechanisms. However, the Lord is the only One who can bring true, lasting freedom and healing from the pain.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

Trauma includes betrayal, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, ritual abuse, rape, the death of a loved one, divorce, accidents and natural disasters. The levels of emotional pain that we can experience from trauma vary greatly. As traumatic situations become more severe, and if they are ongoing, the emotional pain can, and often does, cause physical illness.

Secondary trauma is trauma that we heard about or saw that happened to someone else, but did not directly involve us. Secondary trauma can have a significant impact on our hearts and spirits even though we did not experience the traumatic event first-hand. Ministers, counselors, mental health professionals, police officers, firefighters, and people in many other professions that deal with the public can carry extreme, and sometimes debilitating, amounts of primary and secondary pain and trauma.

Trauma is energy. It comes at us like a blow to a bone. That bone can receive a hair-line fracture, a splintering, a complete break or several breaks depending on the force behind the blow. Emotional and spiritual trauma have similar effects on our hearts, minds and spirits. The effects from traumatic events that do not receive healing will steadily distract our focus and drain our energy away from reaching our God-given destinies.  The pain from trauma will fester and eventually erupt like a volcano if it is not released and the damage is not healed.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious result of extreme traumatic events. It is not just limited to veterans of war, although there are a high percentage of veterans suffering with horrific PTSD symptoms. Many more people are living with the debilitating symptoms of PTSD than anyone realizes. PTSD is a real illness. It can develop after living through or seeing a life-threatening, traumatic event. PTSD makes a person feel stressed and afraid after the danger is over. PTSD can cause problems like flashbacks, or feeling like the event is happening again, trouble sleeping or nightmares, feeling alone, and panic attacks. PTSD starts at different times for different people. Signs of PTSD may start soon after a frightening event and then continue. Other people develop new or more severe signs months or even years later.  PTSD can lead to all of the ungodly coping behaviors mentioned above and that last, most self-destructive action of suicide.

Current traumatic situations can, and often do, bring the emotional pain of similar past traumatic experiences to the surface. We were meant to love God with whole, not broken, hearts. We cannot do that when the pain and trauma are constantly bombarding our hearts and spirits.

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Matthew 22:37 (NKJV)

The pain can also cause us to wear a mask around others. We don’t want others to see how deeply we are hurting. Many people just don’t know how to cope. They may try to get help, but it may be unsuccessful, or even cause more damage. So, they may eventually turn to wearing a mask, not letting anyone know how severely brokenhearted they are—not letting anyone know the level of pain that they are carrying. However, the more that we wear that mask, the more the mask becomes part of who we are! The following poem by Helen Joseph, The Mask, addresses this very well.

Always a mask

Held in the slim hand,

Whitely,

Always she had a mask

Before her face–

Smiling and sprightly,

The Mask.

 

Truly the wrist

Holding it lightly

Fitted the task:

Sometimes however

Was there a shiver,

Fingertip quiver,

Ever so slightly–

Holding the mask?

 

For years and years and

Years I wondered

But dared not ask.

 

And then–

I blundered,

I looked behind,

Behind the mask

To find

Nothing–She had no face.

She had become

Merely a hand

Holding a mask

With grace.

I have quoted the above poem during Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry seminars and workshops for many years. There has always been a very strong reaction to the poem from those in attendance. Many people can relate to wearing a mask. It is not socially acceptable to wear our pain on our sleeves—to let it be known to others. Unfortunately—very unfortunately—in the Christian Church, in the Body of Christ, there is so much emotional and spiritual pain being carried by believers, and they are afraid to be real with anyone. They have been hurt too much. They may have been spiritually abused and deeply wounded by other Christians. They don’t want to take a chance that it will happen again and understandably so.

When we go to a church service and look around, we will normally see rows and rows of people wearing their masks. If we ask them how they are doing, they will answer, “I’m doing fine. I’m doing good. I am blessed.” Yes, Christians are blessed because Jesus came, died, and rose again so that we can spend eternity with Him and the Father in Heaven. However, life on this earth is difficult to say the least. It is not a bed of roses even for, and sometimes especially for, Christians. We have all experienced emotional pain and trauma.

The answer, however, is not to walk around wearing a mask! The answer is not to worry about what others will think. Our Most High God is the only One we need to please. Wearing masks does not please Him. If we please Him, then we will be pleasing those people He wants us to please. We cannot do that while wearing a mask!

Instead of continuing to wear a mask that will draw us deeper and deeper into isolation from our Most High God and other people, we need to find someone with whom we can share our deepest pain. We need to allow that mask to come off. We need to be careful, because as many of us have discovered, not everyone is safe. However, we can ask a trustworthy, Christian friend or family member if they know a safe believer who can help us receive freedom in Biblical ways. We must reach out and not isolate ourselves in order to receive the inner healing we need.

The Lord is near to the heartbroken
And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin).

Psalm 34:18 (AMP)

Healing for our pain requires that we take the first step and sincerely ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior. We must obey God’s Word and repent for our sins. Jesus’ sacrifice was a huge price paid for our freedom and healing, and we need to honor it by being honest with our Most High God and genuine in our confession of faith.

Jesus Christ can release and heal our pain and trauma! 

Jesus said:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”

Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

JESUS is always safe! We need to talk to Him. We must pray and listen for His response. He will lead us and guide us on the healing path that we need to follow for the specific pain and trauma that we have experienced.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)

 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

May the Lord Jesus bless you as you seek His healing and freedom from pain and trauma. I pray that your heart will be open to receiving that healing and freedom and that nothing will stop you from pursuing it. I bless you as you determine to stop wearing a mask long enough to get the help you need so that one day you will not have to wear that mask ever again. May Jesus Christ strengthen your heart and give you courage. May you see the goodness of the Lord as you remove your mask!
Kathy Shelton

 

You are Loved!

 

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.

(1 John 3:1)

As followers of Jesus Christ, we are children of God. What an amazing truth to meditate on and embrace with our hearts, minds and spirits. We are sons and daughters of the Most High God! We have an inheritance as such that is out of this world. Our Most High God has promised us a glorious eternity with Him that we can only imagine if we have genuinely accepted His Son as our Lord and Savior. That is His incredible love for us!

However, when our hearts are broken as a result of abuse, the death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, natural disasters, or any other form of trauma, we may begin to believe that our future will be determined by those extremely painful and traumatic experiences. We may feel like it is who we are, and our outlook can be skewed, because we have accepted the negative labels—word curses—that accompanied the trauma.  Those labels may include victim, abandoned, rejected, or unloved. They can help keep us in bondage and prevent us from receiving freedom from the emotional and spiritual pain.

The trauma is not who we are—it is what happened to us! If Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, we are sons and daughters of the Most High God. That is our true identity. We are loved by the Creator of the Universe, the Great Physician, the Lord of Hosts. We are precious in His sight and He wants to heal our broken hearts. We must embrace that truth. God loves us with an incomparable, everlasting love!

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;  Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

(Jeremiah 31:3)

The following is a short list of who we are according to the Word of God, the Bible, if we have sincerely accepted God’s Son, Jesus, as our Lord and Savior.  The Scripture references are in parentheses.

We are children of God. (Romans 8:16)

Our sins are forgiven through the blood of Jesus. (Colossians 1:13-14)

We have been saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8)

We are new creations in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

We are partakers of His Divine Nature. (2 Peter 1:4)

We are delivered from the powers of darkness through the blood of Jesus Christ. (Colossians 1:13)

God’s children are led by the Spirit of God, the Holy Spirit. (Romans 8:14)

We are getting all our needs met by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

We humble ourselves and we cast all our cares on God. (1 Peter 5:6-7)

We are strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. (Ephesians 6:10)

We do all things through Christ Who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13)

We are heirs of God and joint heirs with Jesus Christ if indeed we suffer with Him. (Romans 8:17)

We can receive the blessings of Abraham, the promise of the Spirit through faith. (Galatians 3:13-14)

We have been given eternal life in God’s Son, Jesus Christ. (1 John 5:11-12)

In Christ, we are blessed with every spiritual blessing. (Ephesians 1:3)

We are healed by Jesus’ stripes. (1 Peter 2:24)

We are more than conquerors through God and Jesus Christ Who love us. (Romans 8:37)

We are overcomers by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, and the word of our testimonies. (Revelation 12:11)

We can have victory over evil spirits. (1 John 4:4)

      We do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.       (2 Corinthians 4:18)

We walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

We are being transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-2)

We are God’s fellow workers. (1 Corinthians 3:9)

We are the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

We are to be imitators of God. (Ephesians 5:1)

We are to be the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14)

The above verses clearly state who we are as children of the Most High God! We must never let the devil convince us otherwise. The negative labels that people and the kingdom of darkness have inflicted on our hearts, minds and spirits are lies. God’s Word shines the truth of who we are and what we are called to live as God’s children and genuine followers of Jesus Christ. Not only does our heavenly Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit love us, but we love them in return and show our love by trusting God and obeying His Word.

We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)

 

Kathy Shelton

 

All Scripture verses are quoted from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.

A Whip of Cords!

 When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables.  (John 2:15)

WOW! Jesus was very angry when He saw how those people had turned the temple, His Father’s house, into a place where business was being conducted. That was a perfect example of godly, righteous anger displayed as a result of people’s sinful actions. The temple was meant to be a house of prayer, not a “den of thieves,” which Jesus called what the money changers and sellers had made it.

Jesus was furious when he used that whip of cords to drive those people who were defiling the temple off the premises. He was not being timid, shy, or politically correct. He was extremely angry and had a very good reason to react the way He did and kick them out. We should never feel guilty for having righteous anger. There are times when godly, righteous anger is not only appropriate, but also necessary to deal with ungodly situations! 

And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.  (Mark 3:5)

Jesus was in the synagogue when He looked at the supposedly godly men with anger. Jesus was angry! Many followers of His have been told by others—both Christians and non-Christians—that being angry is not a godly response to any situation. However, there are many examples in the Bible where the Most High God and His Son, Jesus Christ, were angry due to evil, unrighteous behavior.

We have to understand the difference between righteous, godly anger and anger that is a product of our mind, will, emotions, or a demonic spirit. Righteous anger is a response to sinful actions, or injustice, and Jesus experienced it when He walked on this earth. The pain and trauma that is caused by unrighteous circumstances break our hearts and usually result in righteous anger in our hearts and spirits as well.

However, we must be careful not to allow our hearts to become hardened. Jesus was grieved by the hardness of their hearts. We should always try to please the Lord and not grieve our heavenly Father, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. We must do our best to prevent our hearts from becoming hardened, but if that has already happened, we can ask the Lord to forgive us and soften our hearts. He wants to heal our broken hearts and to release the unspeakable emotional and spiritual pain we carry. We must take the first step by surrendering to His ways and perfect will for our lives.

Be angry, but don’t sin — don’t let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger;  (Ephesians 4:26)

Be angry? Does God’s Word really say that it is okay to be angry? Yes! However, the Lord qualified that statement by adding the phrase “but don’t sin.” Righteous anger—godly anger—is not sin, but can turn into sin if we let it. We must recognize the difference.

It is absolutely normal to become angry when someone or something has caused us pain and trauma. In fact, anger is often attached to emotional and spiritual pain in our hearts. However, ungodly anger can grow into bitterness, which can then lead to other destructive emotions if it is not released from our hearts and spirits. It can also cause physical illness. We must be very careful how far we allow the emotion of anger to progress, because we are the ones who will ultimately suffer damage to our hearts, bodies and spirits. If anger has developed into sin, we must ask God to forgive us in Jesus’ name.

Our hearts can even become hardened concerning God if we are not cautious regarding anger. Healing for our broken hearts is more difficult as a result.  People with hardened hearts turn away from God—the One who can release the pain and heal them. Asking Jesus to release the pain and anger from our hearts and spirits and asking the Holy Spirit to apply His healing balm are part of the inner healing process. Hardened, broken hearts can be healed by the Lord!

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  (Ezekiel 36:26)

The good news is that our Most High God has promised to give us new hearts and new spirits! He promised to give us soft, pliable hearts in place of the hard hearts that result from the pain and trauma in our lives. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to heal the brokenhearted. Deep pain from traumatic events can be released and hearts can be healed. The miraculous process of inner healing is possible through the incomparable love and freedom offered by Jesus Christ.

Traumatic situations include abandonment, betrayal, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, molestation and rape. Those emotionally and spiritually devastating acts against us can make us feel unclean, filthy and angry.  Bitterness, anger, hatred, and other destructive emotions can be attached to the pain and trauma. Those destructive emotions may even be the root of us trying to take matters into our own hands to repay the offending individuals for what they did that wounded our hearts and spirits. When ungodly anger leads to retaliation, it is not healthy for us in any way. Retaliation does not heal or release the pain and trauma that we carry.

Allowing Jesus to remove the emotional and spiritual pain in our hearts and spirits is the only way to receive true freedom. Biblical, healing and cleansing prayer can release the pain and trauma—healing our hearts and spirits—which normally also releases the attached destructive emotions. Only the Lord Jesus can truly cleanse us from the effects of abuse, pain and trauma. As Jesus cleanses us from the defilement of trauma, and releases the emotional and spiritual pain from our hearts and spirits, we can truly experience newness and peace. Our hearts of flesh can be restored!

God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.   (Psalm 7:11)

We must trust that the Most High God will judge those responsible for causing us unspeakable pain and trauma. His Word says that He is angry with the wicked every day. He is the Most High, Just Judge and He will bring about the appropriate consequences and punishment to those who do not genuinely repent for their sins. Repentance must include heart-felt, godly sorrow for evil actions or words—and a change in behavior—or it is not true repentance at all. It is essential that we place the offenders in the hands of the Most High God and let Him determine the timing for justice to be done. Then, we will know peace in the midst of pain and trauma, and the healing of our broken hearts—and the release of attached anger—will be more easily achieved.

Kathy Shelton

 

All Scripture verses are quoted from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.

GODLY BOUNDARIES – No Door Mats!

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.  (Psalm 139:14)

Brokenhearted people often have major problems setting godly boundaries in their lives. The lies of the enemy, Satan, can cause us to feel like we deserved the abuse and/or trauma that we have suffered. We may feel like a doormat, being walked on over and over, because we were vulnerable and an easy target. That is how the enemy would like us to view ourselves. Embracing the true identity that the Lord God has created for us enables us to reject Satan’s lies!

We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of the Most High God! The enemy would like us to forget that and see ourselves as less than the beautiful creations that we were meant to be, reflecting God Himself. When we are carrying pain and trauma in our hearts and spirits, our opinions of our worth and value can be skewed. Not having godly boundaries is agreeing with the devil that we are worth less than how our loving God views us. The true nature of who we are in God’s eyes can be distorted—which then causes us to accept more abusive treatment—and the destructive cycle continues. We must break that cycle by believing God’s Word and taking godly action to receive the freedom to be who God created us to be.

“I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:18 )

Genuine followers of Jesus Christ are sons and daughters of the Most High God, the Lord Almighty! We must protect our hearts, minds and spirits, realizing that we are precious to our Heavenly Father and that He is saddened when we do not do so. He paid an enormous price for us to become His sons and daughters when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer an excruciating death for our salvation. Jesus’ death and resurrection from the dead needs to be treasured for the amazing and incomparable gift it is to us by our valuing ourselves enough to set godly boundaries!

Connected to the practice of not having healthy, godly boundaries is the fear of man. The fear of man—and what a person may think or do if we do not make them happy and comply with their requests or demands—is one of the most difficult things for people with wounded hearts and spirits to overcome. Many people learn that the fear of man keeps them from suffering additional abuse and trauma. The fear of man becomes stronger with time and brokenhearted/traumatized individuals will often do anything to please people to avoid the consequences of not doing so.

We must understand that forgiveness does not mean that we are supposed to allow repeated abuse. Nowhere did Jesus say that we have to trust someone to love them. He also did not say that we have to continue in relationship with those who continually cause us severe emotional or spiritual pain. Jesus told the woman who was caught in adultery to go and sin no more. If a person is not remorseful and repentant, we should not stay in the relationship unless the Lord leads us to do so, knowing the possibility of future reconciliation. If they honestly repent and/or seek help to stop the behavior, we should cautiously and with the Lord’s direction, support their pursuing freedom from the sin. However, allowing them to continue to hurt and abuse us is not how the Lord wants us to live. We must value ourselves as sons and daughters of the Most High God who loves us beyond anything we can imagine. It grieves Him when we don’t set godly boundaries with people.

Not setting godly boundaries in our own lives is a trap that the devil uses repeatedly to cause us emotional pain, especially in the lives of ministers. Most ministers are compassionate. That is why they have entered ministry. They desire to help people and this desire drives them at times to neglect the wisdom of the Lord in setting healthy, godly boundaries in their lives. Although we should be “moved with compassion,” that does not mean we are to allow people to deceive us or take advantage of us. Setting godly, healthy boundaries is so important if we are going to run the race and stay in it to the end. People will test our boundaries just like children test the boundaries with their parents. It is not a sin or an ungodly practice to protect ourselves from exhaustion and unreasonable demands from others. Saying no to people is not sin. Of course, saying no applies only to people and not to the Lord. He will never ask us to do anything that He does not give us the strength and guidance to accomplish.

Godly boundaries are good walls. However, painful and traumatic situations happen in our lives that can break down the good walls that the Lord designed to shield us from evil. We tend to develop ungodly, destructive walls as a result. Those detrimental walls can separate us from the love of God and His Son, Jesus. Harmful walls can also prevent us from receiving the healing we need for the emotional, mental and/or spiritual pain that exist inside us.

We cannot be truly healed unless we allow the finished work that Jesus did on the cross to penetrate the ungodly walls that we have built around our broken hearts and spirits. Jesus will remove the harmful walls as we receive His healing, and He will replace them with godly ones. Asking Jesus to release the pain we are carrying and replace it with His love will help us to develop godly, healthy walls, or boundaries, in our lives.

Accepting help for healing and freedom from past pain and trauma can be a difficult and frightening thing to consider, because it involves facing the truth and being honest with others about what we have endured. This is especially true if the pain and trauma were caused by other believers. However, we must return to the Lord’s truth that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and ask God for the courage to begin setting godly boundaries and to restore our true identity in Jesus’ name!

Kathy Shelton

 

All Scripture verses are quoted from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.

Inner Healing — Healing from the Inside Out

 

There is a great need for inner healing in this world! So many people are miserable because they cannot bear the emotional and spiritual pain from trauma that they are carrying. That pain results in addiction, abuse, murder, abandonment, physical illness, suicide, and many other epidemics  in our society. Inner healing from emotional and spiritual pain that we have suffered is not optional if we desire to fulfill the Lord’s destiny for us.

Trauma can be experienced in many ways including molestation, rape, death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, and natural disasters. Abuse, including mental, verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse, produces traumatic effects on our hearts and spirits. Traumatic situations always leave our hearts and spirits broken. Without inner healing for the emotional and spiritual pain, we can become bitter, resentful, excessively angry, full of hatred, and physically ill.

Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (NKJV)

The good treasure in our hearts does produce good in our lives, but it does not prevent the evil treasure from producing pain and suffering for our family and friends. Those closest to us—the ones we love and who love us—end up being easy targets when our own pain and trauma is triggered. This dynamic alone causes more relationship issues, broken homes, and divorces than most people realize.

A large portion of the evil treasure of our hearts is formed as a result of painful and traumatic circumstances. We often suppress the emotional and spiritual pain without even trying as a defense mechanism that we develop to continue to function form day-to-day. However, the pain will not stay hidden forever, and it will eventually erupt like a volcano. That is when the abundance of the heart pours out of our mouths, or through our ungodly actions. Denying that emotional and spiritual pain exist within our hearts will never stop that from happening, and it will never cause the inner healing that we need to be accomplished.

Many people have hurt us because they were carrying emotional and spiritual pain and trauma for which they never received healing. It is often said that hurt people, hurt people. That is true, but no excuse for us to continue to hurt others because we have not pursued inner healing for ourselves.

In Psalm 51:10, David prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (NKJV)

A clean heart represents a heart that has received healing for the things it contains that are not godly and glorifying to God. Our spirits cannot be steadfast as long as we are suffering the effects of pain and trauma. We must ask God to show us what is in our hearts and spirits that needs to be released so that we can truly obey Him in every area of our lives. That is the first step.

Bible-based inner healing that relies on the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit is the most effective and long-lasting healing. We do not have to live our lives in a prison of pain and trauma that we carry in our hearts and spirits! Isaiah 61:1 says that Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted—not Buddha, Allah, Mohammed, or any pagan god. Jesus Christ, the Son of Almighty God, came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. True freedom is possible if it is pursued in a godly way.

Asking for help to receive inner healing takes courage and a willingness to admit that there is emotional and spiritual pain and trauma that is contributing to your lack of peace. Talking to a Christian counselor or prayer minister about your need for inner healing may seem frightening, but it will be the most important step you can take to help yourself and those you love. The Lord has provided many Christian ministries that help with inner healing. However, they will not search you out. You must do some research and find the best one for the specific pain and trauma that you have experienced. Our website includes a HELPFUL RESOURCES page (CLICK HERE) on the top menu that includes suggestions for ministries that you may want to contact for help.

Inner healing for emotional and spiritual pain is a process like peeling an onion. I pray that you will allow yourself the time necessary and receive the Lord’s grace to continue one day at a time. Each step you take in the inner healing process will bring you that much closer to Almighty God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Kathy Shelton