Be angry and do not sin.

 

Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.

Psalm 4:4 (New King James Version)

You can be angry, but do not sin! Think about this as you lie in bed, and calm down.

Psalm 4:4 (Complete Jewish Bible)

Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,

Ephesians 4:26 (New King James Version)

Be angry, but don’t sin—don’t let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger; 

Ephesians 4:26 (Complete Jewish Bible)

Okay. So, the Bible tells us that we can be angry, but not to let it escalate into sin. That is what it says! It does not say do not be angry, period, as so many people have taught or preached. I have heard many testimonies from people who were told to repent for their anger that had resulted from an emotionally painful or traumatic situation. That is ridiculous!

Our Most High God created us with emotions. One of those emotions is anger. There are several types of anger that people experience. Anger can be righteous anger, meaning that it is justified and godly, resulting from something unjust and hurtful that happened to us or someone else. God’s anger is reported in many places in the Bible, and it resulted from the sin and disobedience of human beings. However, God’s anger is never sin. He is holy and righteous. His anger is always justified and appropriate regarding wickedness and evil.

 When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables.

John 2:15 (NKJV)

Jesus was extremely angry when He made a whip of cords and drove the money changers out of the temple. That was a perfect example of godly, righteous anger displayed as a result of people’s sinful actions. The temple was meant to be a house of prayer, not a “den of thieves,” which is how Jesus described what the money changers and sellers had turned it into. Jesus was furious when he used that whip of cords to drive those people who were defiling the temple off the premises. He was not being timid, shy, or politically correct. He was extremely angry and had a very good reason to react the way He did and kick them out. We should never feel guilty for having righteous anger. There are times when godly, righteous anger is not only appropriate, but also necessary to deal with ungodly situations! 

Most of us in the United States felt righteous anger after 9/11. That is not sin. That is a result of a horrific act that was perpetrated against our country and thousands of innocent people. As I have ministered to survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse, I have seen incredible levels of righteous anger attached to the emotional, spiritual and physical pain and trauma that they had been carrying for decades. To tell them to repent for their anger would be further abuse! The same is true for survivors of sexual abuse and molestation. See the article It is not who you are! dated February 14, 2020, in which I described a woman in her seventies who had over-the-top levels of anger that were surfacing as a result of childhood sexual abuse. We should never tell others to repent for righteous anger!

Of course, there are times when our expression of anger is sin. That occurs when we allow our emotions to spiral out of control past the point of righteous anger. That is sin. In that case, when we step, or leap, over that line, we do need to ask God and anyone at whom we released the anger to forgive us.

There can also be demonic spirits of anger that are attached to our own sinful anger, or to the pain and trauma that we have suffered. During ministry sessions with wounded individuals, I have observed that righteous anger, as well as demonic spirits of anger, can be attached to pain and trauma that has been suppressed in someone’s heart or spirit. No amount of repenting will free a person from that anger. Only after the pain and trauma are released will the anger be released as well. Demonic spirits must usually be dealt with to rid a person of them once that person has asked for forgiveness for sin, or received healing from pain and trauma. When that happens, the demonic spirits will leave. However, I have also observed a great amount of spontaneous deliverance from spirits of anger during ministry sessions when people are healed and the pain and trauma are released. Praise the Lord!

One of the reasons, I believe, that typical deliverance methods used by many people in the Church are only temporarily helpful is because the demonic spirits returned and reattached to the pain and trauma to which they were originally attached. Unless it too has been healed and released, there cannot be true freedom. Lasting healing can only be received through the blood of Jesus Christ and the healing balm of the Holy Spirit.

Having experienced emotionally, physically, or spiritually painful and traumatic events should never be an excuse to continue acting out in anger! Repeated episodes of unexplained anger should be a signal to us that we need to get help. People often say, “I am this way because of what I have gone through in my life,” but that is a cop-out. Yes, the pain and trauma from the things that we experienced may very well be the root of the anger that keeps coming up. However, it does not need to continue! There is help available to receive Biblical inner healing and freedom.

Jesus said,

“…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…”     

Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

All anger is not sin, but some of it can be released by dealing with suppressed emotional pain and trauma. Bottled-up emotional pain and trauma—in addition to anger attached to them—can lead to years of physical illness and pain as well. However, there is hope through Jesus Christ. We can be released from the prison of experiencing unrighteous anger! Jesus came to set the captives free and to heal the brokenhearted. 

God does not want anyone to remain a prisoner of pain and trauma from their past! He has provided help through His Son, Jesus Christ, but we must do our part to pursue healing and freedom. The first step is to sincerely ask Jesus Christ to be our personal Lord and Savior. Asking Almighty God to forgive our sins and then repenting by changing our behavior to line up with God’s Word and obey Him is crucial in the inner healing process.

Kathy Shelton

 

It is not who you are!

You have experienced trauma. You have experienced emotional pain. You’ve gone through hell. You have experienced abuse. Whether the abuse was spiritual, physical, verbal, emotional, mental, sexual, or any other type of abuse, it caused great pain and trauma in your heart, mind and spirit.

However, IT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE! It is what was done to you.

If you have sincerely asked Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior, you are a child of the Most High God. That is who you are! You are loved with an everlasting love by the Creator of the Universe, His Son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. You are loved!

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”

Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJV)

This world is full of people who are walking around, carrying pain and trauma that has been stuffed for years and often decades. One woman to whom I ministered was in her seventies, and during a ministry session, she told me about being molested by her father, beginning when she was five or six years old. She had never told anyone before about her father doing those horrible things to her. She had been having recurring dreams of him chasing her. That lady was living with extreme amounts of emotional pain and anger inside her heart and spirit. It was coming out at those she loved most—her family. They could not understand why she was so angry.

During that session, deep emotional pain was released from this precious, Christian woman as she sobbed uncontrollably. Jesus Christ ministered to this woman, and He did amazing and lasting healing in her heart, mind and spirit while I prayed with her. Afterwards, she laughed. She smiled. She was set free! Because she was able to talk about the trauma and receive compassionate prayer in Jesus’ name, she was able to receive the healing she needed. It did not change what happened, but Jesus changed her heart, her mind, and her spirit. He cleansed, purified, and healed her from that sexual abuse and trauma. The Holy Spirit filled the voids that were left once the pain and trauma were released. It was a beautiful process to help facilitate and observe. Her family was amazed at the difference they saw in her—the intense anger was gone!

What has happened to you is not who you are, unless you allow it to define who you are. You have to put an end to that. Do not let it continue for decades! You have to take control of your life because you have a beautiful, God-given destiny regardless of your age. God wants you to fulfill the destiny that He has planned for you. The enemy, Satan, does not want you to fulfill your God-given destiny. Satan often uses suppressed pain and trauma to stop people from living out their full potential for the kingdom of God.

The solution is healing through Jesus Christ! He can heal you from all the pain and trauma that was inflicted on you. Jesus can release it from your heart, your mind and your spirit. He came to set the captives free and to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18, NKJV). Jesus can make your heart whole! That is a gift from our Most High God to you if you are a genuine follower of Jesus Christ.

The late Tom R. Hawkins, Ph.D., Founder of Restoration in Christ Ministries, stated the following: “The presence of the ‘flesh’ (man’s inherited propensity towards sin) will not be removed until death or the rapture. Thus, even a healed heart has harassment and temptation directed to the fallen nature, or flesh, from the outside sources of evil called the ‘world’ and all the powers of darkness.”

Having a healed heart does not guarantee that a person will not encounter future trauma, trials and spiritual warfare. However, with a healed heart, a person can function and live as the whole person God created them to be. It is not about becoming “perfect” and without trials, sin, and the challenges of life. It is about allowing the Holy Spirit to direct our reactions and being able to function according to God’s plan to the best of our ability at the time.

We must take part in our inner healing first by sincerely accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior and asking God to forgive our sins. Repenting for our sins—by changing our thoughts, actions and behavior—and obeying God’s Word are critical if we are going to truly live according to God’s will. We must ask the Lord what steps He wants us to take to pursue healing for our broken hearts.

Inner healing takes time, but going through the process is much better than living with deep emotional and spiritual pain. Reading the Bible out loud, listening to praise and worship music, singing to the Lord, and spending time alone with the Lord all help to heal our hearts, minds and spirits. It has been scientifically shown that reading the Word of God out loud helps to rewire our brains!

You may need to seek a qualified, Christian prayer minister who can help you to release the pain and trauma in your heart and spirit. However, that person has to be someone who is trained to do that in the name of Jesus Christ. Not every Christian minister knows how to pray for the release of emotional pain and trauma, but there are many available. If you need help finding one, check out our HELPFUL RESOURCES page by clicking here: HELPFUL RESOURCES. Inner healing will help you to start living your God-given destiny and not the life that Satan wants you to live.

God loves you and He has more for you than you can even imagine. He wants to see you set free! The lie from the enemy is that you will never be able to get healed from the trauma and that you will never be able to get passed it. YES, YOU CAN! However, you have to make the choice to go through the healing process. You have to make the choice to let Jesus Christ set you free.

If you have not sincerely asked Jesus Christ to be your personal Lord and Savior, that is the place to start. Jesus wants to help you. He died for your freedom and healing. However, you have to first make the decision to invite Jesus into your life in order to begin the godly path for inner healing. Once you make that choice, I know that Jesus will be by your side every step of the way. May the Most High God bless you with His everlasting love as you surrender to His will for your life.

Kathy Shelton

 

To Forgive or Not To Forgive?

Forgiveness through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, God’s Son, means that we are given the opportunity to spend eternity with Almighty God in Heaven.  John 3:16-21 state that Jesus came to provide for our salvation.  The verses also describe the difference between those practicing evil who are condemned and people who are honoring God.  People who willfully continue their evil, sinful behavior in spite of claiming to be a Christian are not sincerely following Jesus.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.  But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God. 

John 3:16-21 (NKJV)

Those verses and the rest of God’s Word have impacted my daily life for over 33 years since I asked Jesus to be my personal Lord and Savior.  I have lived differently ever since the evening that I surrendered my life to the King of kings and the Lord of lords.  My outlook changed from a worldly perspective to one based on God’s Word, His promises and His directions and guidance.  I accepted God’s forgiveness and do my best to obey Him in every area of my life.  I am not perfect and none of us will ever reach perfection on this earth.  That is why we must understand that God’s forgiveness requires us to sincerely repent by changing our ungodly behavior when we sin.  If we refuse to repent, Jesus Christ is not our Lord.

God’s forgiveness is not unconditional.  God expects us to obey Him.  When we disobey the Lord, we will suffer the consequences.  Deuteronomy 28 clearly describes the blessings that we will receive for obeying God and also some of the results if we choose to disobey Him.  In Genesis 19:15-26, Lot’s wife turned into a pillar of salt because she disobeyed the Lord and looked back after being told not to do so.  The cost of her disobedience was immediate death.

Biblical forgiveness is one of the most incorrectly taught principles to followers of Jesus Christ.  Some Christians believe that because they once said a prayer asking Jesus to be their Lord and Savior that all of their past, present and future sins are automatically forgiven by Almighty God.  They do not believe that they will be held accountable for any sins and that there is no need for them to repent.  That line of thinking only leads to rampant sin in the life of a person who is not a genuine Christian.

My Scriptural understanding of our responsibility to forgive others has changed greatly during the past several decades.  I was taught repeatedly, and as a result I once believed, that we are supposed to forgive everyone regardless of what they did, whether they were a genuine follower of Jesus or not, and whether or not they were sorry and repentant.  I no longer believe that based on several Scriptures, many of which are Jesus’ own words.  According to Luke 17:3, Jesus stated that repentance is a condition required for us to forgive a fellow Christian.

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.

Luke 17:3 (NKJV)

True Christians will obey the Lord and if they sin, they will repent and change their behavior.  They will express genuine remorse.  However, there are many wolves in sheep’s clothing who are pretending to be followers of Jesus Christ, but do not obey Him and do not repent for their sins.  We can know the difference based on a person’s actions and sincere sorrow.  John 3:36 clearly warns us that the wrath of God remains on those who do not obey the Lord.

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. 

John 3:36 (ESV)

Sincere followers of Jesus Christ should always be willing to forgive others when it is appropriate to do so.  Our Most High God does not forgive everyone, but He is ready and willing to forgive us when we are truly sorry for our sins and change our behavior—repent—to live according to His Word.  People who refuse to genuinely accept Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior and obey God’s commandments and directions will not spend eternity with Him.  His forgiveness can only be received through the birth, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ.

For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.  

Psalm 86:5 (NKJV)

However, the Lord said in Matthew 12:31-32 that there is a sin that even God will not forgive.  Blasphemy—the act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence—against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven by God.  These words from Jesus show that our Most High God considers that to be unforgivable!

“Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.  Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.” 

Matthew 12:31-32 (NKJV)

In Acts 5:1-11, Ananias and Sapphira tried to deceive the Holy Spirit and lied to Peter about the amount of money they had received when they sold a possession.  They kept back a portion of the proceeds from the sale.  That was not the problem.  Their sin was that they lied about it.  They were both guilty of deception and lying.  Ananias and Sapphira were given the opportunity to repent and tell the truth, but they did not do so.  They died as a result.  That may seem like a harsh consequence for lying, but it is one example of believers receiving God’s judgment for not repenting for their sin. 

But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and keep back part of the price of the land for yourself? While it remained, was it not your own? And after it was sold, was it not in your own control? Why have you conceived this thing in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God.”

Acts 5:3-4 (NKJV)

Now it was about three hours later when his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. And Peter answered her, “Tell me whether you sold the land for so much?” She said, “Yes, for so much.”

Acts 5:7-8 (NKJV)

In addition, when we have sinned and not asked God to forgive us and repented for our sins, it always blocks our relationships with Him.  He will not hear our prayers if we have known sins on our accounts.  

But your iniquities have separated you from your God;
And your sins have hidden His face from you,
So that He will not hear.   

Isaiah 59:2 (NKJV)

God does expect us to forgive as we have been forgiven in Christ.  After we make a sincere profession of faith in Jesus, ask God for forgiveness for our sins and repent, God forgives us.  The condition of repentance is often ignored by those who want us to forgive them, but do not want to change their behavior.  At times, people may forgive someone who is not repentant because they do not want to lose that relationship.  However, that is a very selfish reason to forgive and it allows the offender to continue the ungodly behavior without consequences. That is not in agreement with God’s character and Word.  In this life or after they die, our Most High God always carries out His judgment against those who do not repent.

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. 

Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

This is a powerful quote from John Hagee: “Granting forgiveness without demanding a change in conduct (behavior) makes the grace of God an accomplice to evil.”  Just think about that statement.  Ungodly behavior is sin and evil.  If we grant forgiveness without requiring the person to repent and change their behavior, we are making the grace of God a partner with that evil.  Godly sorrow and repentance are not optional in order to receive God’s forgiveness. 

Why would we think that we should forgive unrepentant rapists, pedophiles, murderers, and other evil people, including pseudo Christians, when Almighty God does not forgive such people?  Those who tell abuse victims/survivors to forgive an unrepentant, evil perpetrator are asking them to do something that our Most High God does not do!  One woman to whom I ministered told me that she would never forgive the person who murdered her daughter.  Not only was the killer unrepentant, but he denied that he had committed the crime even though all the evidence proved he had done it.  I do not believe that the Lord expected that heartbroken lady to forgive the murderer of her precious daughter.

Repent therefore of this your wickedness, and pray God if perhaps the thought of your heart may be forgiven you. 

Acts 8:22 (NKJV)

 For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death.    

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NKJV)

Without faith in the One True God and His Son, Jesus Christ, a person cannot truly forgive.  The love of God makes it possible for us to genuinely forgive when it is appropriate.  A desire to obey and please the Lord is absent without that faith.  A remorseless wrongdoer cannot benefit from God’s forgiveness.  The fact that God forgives us based on our acceptance of Jesus’ sacrifice and our repentance is the only reason that we have hope and the assurance that we will spend eternity with the Lord in Heaven.  Obeying God and forgiving—when it is appropriate—helps to keep our relationships with the Lord strong.

Also, we cannot base whether or not we have truly forgiven someone on our feelings.  We may still feel emotional pain when we think about the person or situation.  Many years ago, the life and career of a man I know was seriously damaged and almost destroyed as a result of the wicked actions and lies of several people.  He was carrying an indescribable amount of pain and trauma.  Hoping to reduce his suffering, that man eventually made the conscious decision to forgive the people involved, but he still felt lots of bitterness and anger regarding the injustice that had been done to him.  The bitterness and anger were attached to the emotional pain and trauma that he had suffered, which had not been released or healed.  If we forgive someone who is truly sorry and repentant, we may not always feel like we have done so until Jesus releases the pain and trauma and heals our broken hearts.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

Our Most High God gives everyone the opportunity to receive true freedom and healing through His Son, Jesus Christ.  Whether or not we are forgiven by God depends on our sincere acceptance of Jesus as our Lord and Savior.  Our obedience to God and His Word and our repentance when we sin prove that our relationships with Him are genuine.  He will never force anyone to repent, but thank God that He gives us the choice to do so!

               Kathy Shelton

 

What in the world is going on with me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?  You love the Lord Jesus and have sincerely asked Him to be your personal Lord and Savior, but something is blocking you from receiving freedom from ungodly habits and reactions to things.  The sin that we continue to battle in our lives is sometimes the result of past emotional pain and trauma that are festering beneath the surface.  If you find yourself repeatedly “going around the same mountains,” this may be the reason.

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,
But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.
Proverbs 15:13 (NKJV)


Our spirits register everything about us from the moment of conception on.  When a person’s countenance is sad, there is a broken spirit involved. 

The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
But who can bear a broken spirit?
Proverbs 18:14 (NKJV)

 
A broken spirit is the result of traumatic events—one time occurrences or on-going situations.  We often suffer traumatic situations as the result of the actions of evil people who have no consciences.  The reality is that much of the trauma we experience is caused by close friends, family and others we trusted who were just pretending to be Christians.  Those traumatic circumstances are even more devastating due to the tremendous betrayal that is part of the trauma.  

Traumatic events include the death of a loved one, divorce, abuse of any kind (sexual, mental, verbal, emotional, spiritual or physical), domestic violence, being the victim of any violent crime, physical illnesses and surgeries, repeatedly moving from one location to another (especially during childhood), natural disasters (fires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc.), and anything else that is extremely upsetting to normal life circumstances.  Trauma can not only break our hearts, but it can also break our spirits!

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling, food, prescription medications, ungodly relationships, cutting oneself, or anything else may be the result of trying to numb emotional pain and trauma from the past or present.  As painful memories from past events are triggered and come to the surface, the associated emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain may be intense.  In an attempt to numb or deaden that pain, an individual may have one, two, three, or more drinks, use drugs, or in some other way try to relieve or deaden that pain.  It may work for a short time, because the activity changes the chemical balance in the person’s brain.  However, it is not a permanent solution and the unbearable emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain eventually surfaces again.  The cycle of numbing the pain, the pain reappearing, and numbing it again can lead to full-blown addiction.


As genuine followers of Jesus Christ, we need to be living from the hearts and spirits that Jesus gave us.  Unfortunately, most of us are living from hearts and spirits that are broken.  Inner healing is the healing of our emotional and spiritual wounds.  Many of them are wounds that we initially experienced in early childhood.  These traumatic experiences often become repressed with time and remain hidden within us, contaminating our souls and distorting our beliefs and behaviors.  If we bury our emotional and spiritual pain, we are burying something that remains alive!  Suppressed emotional and spiritual pain doesn’t just disappear.  It can turn into lingering physical pain.

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV)
  
A contrite spirit is also translated as a crushed spirit (NASB translation).  Therefore, the verse above reassures us that the Lord saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and proclaim liberty to the captives (Luke 4:18, NKJV).  The Lord wants to heal our broken hearts and spirits!

The spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord,

Searching all the innermost parts of his being.
Proverbs 20:27 (NASB)


James 1:4 (NIV) instructs us to become mature and complete, not lacking anything.  This reference is one of many portions of Scripture that highlight our responsibility to work on our maturity.  Once the Lord reveals that some sin in our lives is pain-driven, we must do all we can to pursue Biblical healing and freedom.  We should never use any type of pain as an excuse to sin!

Inner healing is a process like peeling and onion, one layer at a time.  It is not about trying to be perfect all at once.  We all need inner healing, because we have all been wounded emotionally or spiritually to one degree or another.  None of us grew up in a perfect world.  We don’t get healed if we stay in denial about how we are broken.  God does the redeeming, but we choose to mature.  If we are serious about becoming more like Jesus, we must ask Him to show us pain and trauma that He wants to heal in us. 

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
Matthew 22:37 (NKJV)


We were meant to love God with undivided, whole hearts.  Traumatic situations cause our hearts to be broken and divided into many pieces.  The good news is that there is hope!  A genuine, personal relationship with God’s Son, Jesus Christ, can lead to the healing and restoration of our hearts and spirits.  Jesus is the only One who can truly heal broken hearts and spirits!  Many people have received freedom from the effects of emotional and spiritual pain and trauma, including ungodly behavior, sin and addictions, through Biblical, healing prayer ministry.  Jesus Christ came to set the captives free, but sometimes it requires a person, “Jesus with skin on,” to help in the inner healing process.  We all need the encouragement and prayers of trusted, genuine followers of Jesus Christ! 

Do not give up hope!  Jesus loves you and wants to heal your broken heart and spirit.  The Lord will show you the way to receive the healing you need as you focus on loving Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit right where you are at the moment.  The Lord Jesus said, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8, NKJV)

Kathy Shelton 

The Pain

Emotional pain.
Physical pain.
Mental pain.
Spiritual pain.

The pain is so real. The pain is so intense. The emotional, physical, mental and spiritual pain from traumatic events can cause people to do many things to try to escape, numb, or cope with the pain they are feeling. It can cause someone to turn to drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, cutting, denial, anger, and other self-destructive behaviors. The pain can lead to addictions to drugs, alcohol or other ungodly coping mechanisms. However, the Lord is the only One who can bring true, lasting freedom and healing from the pain.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

Trauma includes betrayal, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, ritual abuse, rape, the death of a loved one, divorce, accidents and natural disasters. The levels of emotional pain that we can experience from trauma vary greatly. As traumatic situations become more severe, and if they are ongoing, the emotional pain can, and often does, cause physical illness.

Secondary trauma is trauma that we heard about or saw that happened to someone else, but did not directly involve us. Secondary trauma can have a significant impact on our hearts and spirits even though we did not experience the traumatic event first-hand. Ministers, counselors, mental health professionals, police officers, firefighters, and people in many other professions that deal with the public can carry extreme, and sometimes debilitating, amounts of primary and secondary pain and trauma.

Trauma is energy. It comes at us like a blow to a bone. That bone can receive a hair-line fracture, a splintering, a complete break or several breaks depending on the force behind the blow. Emotional and spiritual trauma have similar effects on our hearts, minds and spirits. The effects from traumatic events that do not receive healing will steadily distract our focus and drain our energy away from reaching our God-given destinies.  The pain from trauma will fester and eventually erupt like a volcano if it is not released and the damage is not healed.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious result of extreme traumatic events. It is not just limited to veterans of war, although there are a high percentage of veterans suffering with horrific PTSD symptoms. Many more people are living with the debilitating symptoms of PTSD than anyone realizes. PTSD is a real illness. It can develop after living through or seeing a life-threatening, traumatic event. PTSD makes a person feel stressed and afraid after the danger is over. PTSD can cause problems like flashbacks, or feeling like the event is happening again, trouble sleeping or nightmares, feeling alone, and panic attacks. PTSD starts at different times for different people. Signs of PTSD may start soon after a frightening event and then continue. Other people develop new or more severe signs months or even years later.  PTSD can lead to all of the ungodly coping behaviors mentioned above and that last, most self-destructive action of suicide.

Current traumatic situations can, and often do, bring the emotional pain of similar past traumatic experiences to the surface. We were meant to love God with whole, not broken, hearts. We cannot do that when the pain and trauma are constantly bombarding our hearts and spirits.

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Matthew 22:37 (NKJV)

The pain can also cause us to wear a mask around others. We don’t want others to see how deeply we are hurting. Many people just don’t know how to cope. They may try to get help, but it may be unsuccessful, or even cause more damage. So, they may eventually turn to wearing a mask, not letting anyone know how severely brokenhearted they are—not letting anyone know the level of pain that they are carrying. However, the more that we wear that mask, the more the mask becomes part of who we are! The following poem by Helen Joseph, The Mask, addresses this very well.

Always a mask

Held in the slim hand,

Whitely,

Always she had a mask

Before her face–

Smiling and sprightly,

The Mask.

 

Truly the wrist

Holding it lightly

Fitted the task:

Sometimes however

Was there a shiver,

Fingertip quiver,

Ever so slightly–

Holding the mask?

 

For years and years and

Years I wondered

But dared not ask.

 

And then–

I blundered,

I looked behind,

Behind the mask

To find

Nothing–She had no face.

She had become

Merely a hand

Holding a mask

With grace.

I have quoted the above poem during Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry seminars and workshops for many years. There has always been a very strong reaction to the poem from those in attendance. Many people can relate to wearing a mask. It is not socially acceptable to wear our pain on our sleeves—to let it be known to others. Unfortunately—very unfortunately—in the Christian Church, in the Body of Christ, there is so much emotional and spiritual pain being carried by believers, and they are afraid to be real with anyone. They have been hurt too much. They may have been spiritually abused and deeply wounded by other Christians. They don’t want to take a chance that it will happen again and understandably so.

When we go to a church service and look around, we will normally see rows and rows of people wearing their masks. If we ask them how they are doing, they will answer, “I’m doing fine. I’m doing good. I am blessed.” Yes, Christians are blessed because Jesus came, died, and rose again so that we can spend eternity with Him and the Father in Heaven. However, life on this earth is difficult to say the least. It is not a bed of roses even for, and sometimes especially for, Christians. We have all experienced emotional pain and trauma.

The answer, however, is not to walk around wearing a mask! The answer is not to worry about what others will think. Our Most High God is the only One we need to please. Wearing masks does not please Him. If we please Him, then we will be pleasing those people He wants us to please. We cannot do that while wearing a mask!

Instead of continuing to wear a mask that will draw us deeper and deeper into isolation from our Most High God and other people, we need to find someone with whom we can share our deepest pain. We need to allow that mask to come off. We need to be careful, because as many of us have discovered, not everyone is safe. However, we can ask a trustworthy, Christian friend or family member if they know a safe believer who can help us receive freedom in Biblical ways. We must reach out and not isolate ourselves in order to receive the inner healing we need.

The Lord is near to the heartbroken
And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin).

Psalm 34:18 (AMP)

Healing for our pain requires that we take the first step and sincerely ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior. We must obey God’s Word and repent for our sins. Jesus’ sacrifice was a huge price paid for our freedom and healing, and we need to honor it by being honest with our Most High God and genuine in our confession of faith.

Jesus Christ can release and heal our pain and trauma! 

Jesus said:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”

Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

JESUS is always safe! We need to talk to Him. We must pray and listen for His response. He will lead us and guide us on the healing path that we need to follow for the specific pain and trauma that we have experienced.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV)

 

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

May the Lord Jesus bless you as you seek His healing and freedom from pain and trauma. I pray that your heart will be open to receiving that healing and freedom and that nothing will stop you from pursuing it. I bless you as you determine to stop wearing a mask long enough to get the help you need so that one day you will not have to wear that mask ever again. May Jesus Christ strengthen your heart and give you courage. May you see the goodness of the Lord as you remove your mask!
Kathy Shelton

 

A Whip of Cords!

 When He had made a whip of cords, He drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen, and poured out the changers’ money and overturned the tables.  (John 2:15)

WOW! Jesus was very angry when He saw how those people had turned the temple, His Father’s house, into a place where business was being conducted. That was a perfect example of godly, righteous anger displayed as a result of people’s sinful actions. The temple was meant to be a house of prayer, not a “den of thieves,” which Jesus called what the money changers and sellers had made it.

Jesus was furious when he used that whip of cords to drive those people who were defiling the temple off the premises. He was not being timid, shy, or politically correct. He was extremely angry and had a very good reason to react the way He did and kick them out. We should never feel guilty for having righteous anger. There are times when godly, righteous anger is not only appropriate, but also necessary to deal with ungodly situations! 

And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.  (Mark 3:5)

Jesus was in the synagogue when He looked at the supposedly godly men with anger. Jesus was angry! Many followers of His have been told by others—both Christians and non-Christians—that being angry is not a godly response to any situation. However, there are many examples in the Bible where the Most High God and His Son, Jesus Christ, were angry due to evil, unrighteous behavior.

We have to understand the difference between righteous, godly anger and anger that is a product of our mind, will, emotions, or a demonic spirit. Righteous anger is a response to sinful actions, or injustice, and Jesus experienced it when He walked on this earth. The pain and trauma that is caused by unrighteous circumstances break our hearts and usually result in righteous anger in our hearts and spirits as well.

However, we must be careful not to allow our hearts to become hardened. Jesus was grieved by the hardness of their hearts. We should always try to please the Lord and not grieve our heavenly Father, Jesus or the Holy Spirit. We must do our best to prevent our hearts from becoming hardened, but if that has already happened, we can ask the Lord to forgive us and soften our hearts. He wants to heal our broken hearts and to release the unspeakable emotional and spiritual pain we carry. We must take the first step by surrendering to His ways and perfect will for our lives.

Be angry, but don’t sin — don’t let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger;  (Ephesians 4:26)

Be angry? Does God’s Word really say that it is okay to be angry? Yes! However, the Lord qualified that statement by adding the phrase “but don’t sin.” Righteous anger—godly anger—is not sin, but can turn into sin if we let it. We must recognize the difference.

It is absolutely normal to become angry when someone or something has caused us pain and trauma. In fact, anger is often attached to emotional and spiritual pain in our hearts. However, ungodly anger can grow into bitterness, which can then lead to other destructive emotions if it is not released from our hearts and spirits. It can also cause physical illness. We must be very careful how far we allow the emotion of anger to progress, because we are the ones who will ultimately suffer damage to our hearts, bodies and spirits. If anger has developed into sin, we must ask God to forgive us in Jesus’ name.

Our hearts can even become hardened concerning God if we are not cautious regarding anger. Healing for our broken hearts is more difficult as a result.  People with hardened hearts turn away from God—the One who can release the pain and heal them. Asking Jesus to release the pain and anger from our hearts and spirits and asking the Holy Spirit to apply His healing balm are part of the inner healing process. Hardened, broken hearts can be healed by the Lord!

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.  (Ezekiel 36:26)

The good news is that our Most High God has promised to give us new hearts and new spirits! He promised to give us soft, pliable hearts in place of the hard hearts that result from the pain and trauma in our lives. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to heal the brokenhearted. Deep pain from traumatic events can be released and hearts can be healed. The miraculous process of inner healing is possible through the incomparable love and freedom offered by Jesus Christ.

Traumatic situations include abandonment, betrayal, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, molestation and rape. Those emotionally and spiritually devastating acts against us can make us feel unclean, filthy and angry.  Bitterness, anger, hatred, and other destructive emotions can be attached to the pain and trauma. Those destructive emotions may even be the root of us trying to take matters into our own hands to repay the offending individuals for what they did that wounded our hearts and spirits. When ungodly anger leads to retaliation, it is not healthy for us in any way. Retaliation does not heal or release the pain and trauma that we carry.

Allowing Jesus to remove the emotional and spiritual pain in our hearts and spirits is the only way to receive true freedom. Biblical, healing and cleansing prayer can release the pain and trauma—healing our hearts and spirits—which normally also releases the attached destructive emotions. Only the Lord Jesus can truly cleanse us from the effects of abuse, pain and trauma. As Jesus cleanses us from the defilement of trauma, and releases the emotional and spiritual pain from our hearts and spirits, we can truly experience newness and peace. Our hearts of flesh can be restored!

God is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.   (Psalm 7:11)

We must trust that the Most High God will judge those responsible for causing us unspeakable pain and trauma. His Word says that He is angry with the wicked every day. He is the Most High, Just Judge and He will bring about the appropriate consequences and punishment to those who do not genuinely repent for their sins. Repentance must include heart-felt, godly sorrow for evil actions or words—and a change in behavior—or it is not true repentance at all. It is essential that we place the offenders in the hands of the Most High God and let Him determine the timing for justice to be done. Then, we will know peace in the midst of pain and trauma, and the healing of our broken hearts—and the release of attached anger—will be more easily achieved.

Kathy Shelton

 

All Scripture verses are quoted from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.

Inner Healing — Healing from the Inside Out

 

There is a great need for inner healing in this world! So many people are miserable because they cannot bear the emotional and spiritual pain from trauma that they are carrying. That pain results in addiction, abuse, murder, abandonment, physical illness, suicide, and many other epidemics  in our society. Inner healing from emotional and spiritual pain that we have suffered is not optional if we desire to fulfill the Lord’s destiny for us.

Trauma can be experienced in many ways including molestation, rape, death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, and natural disasters. Abuse, including mental, verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse, produces traumatic effects on our hearts and spirits. Traumatic situations always leave our hearts and spirits broken. Without inner healing for the emotional and spiritual pain, we can become bitter, resentful, excessively angry, full of hatred, and physically ill.

Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (NKJV)

The good treasure in our hearts does produce good in our lives, but it does not prevent the evil treasure from producing pain and suffering for our family and friends. Those closest to us—the ones we love and who love us—end up being easy targets when our own pain and trauma is triggered. This dynamic alone causes more relationship issues, broken homes, and divorces than most people realize.

A large portion of the evil treasure of our hearts is formed as a result of painful and traumatic circumstances. We often suppress the emotional and spiritual pain without even trying as a defense mechanism that we develop to continue to function form day-to-day. However, the pain will not stay hidden forever, and it will eventually erupt like a volcano. That is when the abundance of the heart pours out of our mouths, or through our ungodly actions. Denying that emotional and spiritual pain exist within our hearts will never stop that from happening, and it will never cause the inner healing that we need to be accomplished.

Many people have hurt us because they were carrying emotional and spiritual pain and trauma for which they never received healing. It is often said that hurt people, hurt people. That is true, but no excuse for us to continue to hurt others because we have not pursued inner healing for ourselves.

In Psalm 51:10, David prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (NKJV)

A clean heart represents a heart that has received healing for the things it contains that are not godly and glorifying to God. Our spirits cannot be steadfast as long as we are suffering the effects of pain and trauma. We must ask God to show us what is in our hearts and spirits that needs to be released so that we can truly obey Him in every area of our lives. That is the first step.

Bible-based inner healing that relies on the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit is the most effective and long-lasting healing. We do not have to live our lives in a prison of pain and trauma that we carry in our hearts and spirits! Isaiah 61:1 says that Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted—not Buddha, Allah, Mohammed, or any pagan god. Jesus Christ, the Son of Almighty God, came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. True freedom is possible if it is pursued in a godly way.

Asking for help to receive inner healing takes courage and a willingness to admit that there is emotional and spiritual pain and trauma that is contributing to your lack of peace. Talking to a Christian counselor or prayer minister about your need for inner healing may seem frightening, but it will be the most important step you can take to help yourself and those you love. The Lord has provided many Christian ministries that help with inner healing. However, they will not search you out. You must do some research and find the best one for the specific pain and trauma that you have experienced. Our website includes a HELPFUL RESOURCES page (CLICK HERE) on the top menu that includes suggestions for ministries that you may want to contact for help.

Inner healing for emotional and spiritual pain is a process like peeling an onion. I pray that you will allow yourself the time necessary and receive the Lord’s grace to continue one day at a time. Each step you take in the inner healing process will bring you that much closer to Almighty God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Kathy Shelton
 

What did you just say?

Our words carry so much weight, especially in the spiritual realm. The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. As always, the Bible is absolutely true.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.” (Amplified Bible) (portion underlined for emphasis)

We need to be very careful about the words that we allow to come out of our mouths. Word curses are very real and they have significant power. People who are serving the kingdom of darkness know this very well. They speak word curses, curses, spells, and incantations, and they see the results of the words that come out of their mouths on a regular basis.

Christians are not exempt from speaking word curses. They do it all the time. I know numerous followers of Jesus, myself included, who have unintentionally spoken word curses over others. We can also bring curses upon ourselves based on things that we have said about ourselves! Once you become aware of this principle, then you are responsible for what you do and what words you speak in the future.

There is a difference between speaking a word curse and speaking the truth—saying something that is factual. An example of a factual statement would be saying, “My father just died.” That is not a word curse. That is a fact. “I just filed bankruptcy,” is also not a word curse. That is a fact. However, if someone says, “I am telling you right now, you are going to file bankruptcy within the next five years because… ,” that is a word curse. They are negating the power of God in someone’s life when they say those words. I know people who have told others, “You are going to end up divorced in the next ten years!” That is another example of a word curse. That does not take the Lord’s redemptive power into account and acknowledge that all things are possible with God. We must be very careful what we allow to come out of our mouths!

Many of the women and men to whom I have ministered in personal inner healing sessions or group workshops and seminars have been told as children that they were not good enough. They were told that they were stupid—that they were ugly, too this, or too that. Those were word curses that effected them throughout their lives in many, many ways. It is a form of brainwashing that is tremendously hurtful to the person receiving those word curses.

Another example of the power of word curses in someone’s life is when a person is told that they are not smart enough to do whatever they think they would like to do. If they are told that enough by people who have significant authority and influence in their life, they will many times just give up pursuing the dream they once had. Word curses can change the course of a person’s life!

My father told me before I married my ex-husband that my fiancé, Sam, not his real name, was too good for me. That was a horrible word curse. It impacted me greatly after we were married. Sam began hitting me and abusing me in other ways one week into our marriage. More than once while the abuse was happening, I remembered what my father had said. How could this man who was supposedly “too good for me” be abusing me? I tried to be a better wife, thinking that if I only did better, my husband would treat me well and not abuse me any longer. My father’s words did not cause my ex-husband to abuse me, but they did affect how I thought about that abuse and my decision to stay with him in spite of that abuse.

Word curses can also be spoken in anger to us or by us to others. Words said in anger can be very damaging. The effects of those words are long-lasting and hurtful to hearts and spirits.

One woman was told by several family members that if she divorced her husband, she would go to hell. All the people involved were professing Christians. Yet, they told this woman who was being abused physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually that if she divorced her husband she would go to hell. Their words could have kept her in that horrific marriage. She had two small children who were also being impacted by the ungodly actions of their father. That woman did eventually divorce her husband. I don’t believe for one second that she is on her way to hell because she left her husband and his abuse. That does not line up with Scripture and the love of God for us!

Christians need to diligently watch their words! So many have used Scripture from the Bible, taken out of context, to speak word curses over others. That does not honor our Most High God, our loving heavenly Father. He says that He wants the best for us—that He has a future and a hope for us. He had a future and a hope for that young woman and her two children that did not include continuing to be subjected to that horrible abuse.

Another woman to whom I ministered told me of being involved with a practicing witch in her past before she became a Christian. She was told many ungodly things by the witch. I believe she was told that something terrible would happen if she discontinued her involvement with that witch. During the time when the witch was mentoring her, the woman began having visions of herself driving off a secluded road. She had those visions repeatedly. One day after discontinuing that relationship, the woman found herself driving on that road. She recognized the road from her visions. She ended up driving off the  side of the road and going down a cliff! Miraculously, she survived that “accident.” She believed that accident was the result of words spoken over her by the witch.

Word curses from any source, including curses and all of the evil words that people who are serving the devil and the kingdom of darkness speak, can have a huge impact on our lives. However, we can break word curses because of the power of the blood of Jesus Christ! What Jesus Christ did on the cross was more powerful than any word curse, than any spell, than any curse that can possibly be spoken over us by Christians or non-Christians. Jesus’ blood provided the means for us to be set free from those curses. Jesus’ resurrection provided the power to break word curses. We have to believe it is possible and we have to pursue freedom. We also have to be walking with the Lord in a way that is free of known sin in our life. We cannot be straddling the fence. We cannot have one foot in the kingdom of God and one foot in the kingdom of darkness and expect to have the authority we need to break word curses that have been spoken over us.

We must be fully and totally sold out to the Most High God, Yahweh, the Creator of heaven and earth. Then we can apply the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, over us to cleanse ourselves from those curses. The most important part of that process is that we have fully given our hearts, minds, and spirits to our Most High God. We must have submitted ourselves to the Lord Jesus Christ and asked Him to be our personal Lord and Savior, not just our Savior, but our Lord and Savior. Repentance is crucial. Turning from ungodly habits and known sin is vital.

Following the Lord, following His leading, and obeying Him are essential for freedom. We cannot expect to have victory over the word curses that have been spoken to us, by us, or over us if we are not walking with the Lord to the best of our ability. It’s not a game. Satan is very serious about wanting to destroy as many people as he can on this planet. He is doing a really good job. Yes, the devil is very disappointed when people become Christians. He is very unhappy about that. However, the devil doesn’t stop when someone says, “I am a Christian. Jesus is my Lord and Savior.” Satan does not stop attacking us until the day we die. We have to stop giving him the pathway to attack us by our own words, or by words spoken over us by others. We have to break those word curses in Jesus’ name once we have surrendered our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you need help doing this, or if you feel like you are just drowning from word curses from others, or any other form of curses from the kingdom of darkness, there is help available. Check out our HELPFUL RESOURCES page or contact me for more information. Word curses can play a part in causing our hearts to be broken. God does not want us to continue living with broken hearts! He wants the work that His Son did on the cross when Jesus said, “It is finished,” to be the source of victory in our lives. Take steps towards your victory by pursuing the freedom that you need from word curses. Begin the habit of speaking words of blessing over yourself and others. Be blessed today as you surrender your life to the One who loves you more than you can imagine—Jesus Christ.

Kathy Shelton

The Trauma and Heartbreak of Spiritual Abuse

The seriousness of spiritual abuse and its effects

cannot be overstated!

Some people do not think of spiritual abuse as being traumatic and heart-breaking, especially when a person is in the midst of that abuse. The deception accompanying spiritual abuse often keeps the victim in a state of confusion and disbelief. They may ask themselves, “How can people who are supposed to be helping me grow in the things of God be abusing me?” Unfortunately, spiritual abuse happens more often than one might imagine. The results are ugly and very devastating.

I have ministered to many women who have been spiritually abused since I began ministering to the brokenhearted. Yes, there are the obvious ritual abuse and Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) survivors who suffered extreme levels of spiritual abuse. There are also those who have come out of mainstream churches, Christian organizations, and non-Christian organizations where there was intense spiritual abuse that caused them substantial amounts of pain and trauma.

Anytime a person places themselves in authority over another person in the place of the authority position of the Lord Jesus Christ that is a recipe for spiritual abuse! Anytime someone is told that the person in authority knows better because they “have a better connection to the Lord,” or “to God,” that is a wide open door to spiritual abuse.

One of the ladies to whom I ministered in the past told me about an abusive incident, which was one of many, that she experienced with her husband. She had disagreed with him about something that a man in ministry was teaching. She said that her husband grabbed her arm, twisted it behind her back, and repeatedly yelled at her that she needed to repent for disagreeing with the minister. He told her that she needed to ask God to forgive her for having the “horrible” thought that the man in ministry could possibly be wrong. The lady was in tears as she shared the details of these events with me. That was physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse as well as spiritual abuse! This is just one example of spiritual abuse being accompanied by other forms of abuse. It is often the case that emotional, verbal, mental, physical and/or sexual abuse happen together with spiritual abuse. 

The damage that is done to a person’s heart, mind and spirit, to their whole being, as the result of spiritual abuse can be overwhelming. It can be devastating. It can lead to that person not being able to function normally in any way. Survivors of spiritual abuse often struggle with anger. They experience different levels of anger as a result of that abuse. Most of the time, it is righteous anger and not sin.  The pain and trauma of spiritual abuse can also lead to suicide if the victim becomes hopeless about the possibility of relief from that pain.

People who are spiritually abusive often twist Scripture. They take Bible verses out of context. They manipulate people in ways that are absolutely inspired by the kingdom of darkness. Perpetrators of spiritual abuse also use isolation, secrecy, and fear to control their victims. They count on the victims’ silence about their abuse. All of these things make it very difficult for a victim to break free and receive the healing they desperately need for the pain and trauma.

However, the abusers are sometimes deceived themselves into thinking that what they are doing is right. A lot of the perpetrators of spiritual abuse are deceived, and the nature of deception is that the person does not realize that they are deceived. That is no excuse and does not forgive their behavior, nor does it release them from accountability. They will answer to God for their actions just as we all will answer to Him for our actions. On the other hand, many perpetrators of spiritual abuse know exactly what they are doing!

The perpetrators of spiritual abuse do not usually stop because they are convicted by the Holy Spirit, or something inside of them says that they have gone over the line. Normally, someone who is spiritually abusive only stops if they are caught, if they are exposed, or if they fear that they are in danger of suffering consequences for their behavior that are greater than the fulfillment that they receive from being abusive.

Several of the women to whom I ministered were survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). One of those ladies told me the reason that the abuse finally stopped for her. The high priest was in the process of murdering her in a horrific way when he suddenly, and unexplainable in the natural realm, died. His neck snapped. The lady told me that she believed it was angels that came to her assistance at that time when the perpetrator was going to end her life. I do not believe that the high priest would have stopped otherwise. The Lord came to her rescue.

People will ask, “Why does God allow people to be spiritually abused? Why doesn’t He stop all of it?” It is the same reason that He does not stop sin in general in this world. He has given us all a free will. We need to stop blaming God for all these horrific things that happen and put the blame where it belongs—on the human beings who make the choice to be abusive and on the kingdom of darkness that inspires those evil choices. Spiritual abuse is one of Satan’s many tools to destroy human hearts, minds and spirits.

When people invite Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior, they often have experienced significant pain and trauma in their lives and they are brokenhearted. Many times that is what draws them to the Lord Jesus Christ, because He is so loving and forgiving, and it is an opportunity to be accepted in spite of all of their past sin, pain, and trauma. However, because of that, they are also easy targets for those who are spiritually abusive. Christians, especially new Christians, are normally too trusting.

Jesus Christ is never spiritually abusive. He never tries to force anyone to do anything against their will. Jesus understands the frailty of human beings. He understands the sin nature of human beings and how it can interfere with our relationship with God. He did not accept or condone sin, but He forgave and told people to “go and sin no more.” That is God’s will for us—that we would be forgiven and that we would not repeat the sin in the future. That is called repentance. Abusers rarely repent, although they may call themselves Christians. They are not truly following Jesus Christ.

Back to the survivors of spiritual abuse and people currently going through spiritual abuse… If that describes you, I would highly recommend that you seek help from a trained, qualified Christian prayer minister or counselor who can give you the assistance you need to obtain freedom from the pain and heartbreak of spiritual abuse. Look for someone who can help you receive the healing you need from the effects of that abuse. God loves you and He wants you to be whole. He wants you to be free. He wants you to be healed. He has a destiny for your life and it is not for you to experience or suffer through spiritual abuse and its effects any longer. Please make the decision today to step out and pursue your healing and freedom. It is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

There are suggested resources on the HELPFUL RESOURCES page on this website (CLICK HERE). You can also contact me for more information by filling out the form on the CONTACT AFJM page (CLICK HERE).

May God bless you! My prayer for you is that you will have the strength to stand up and make today the first day of the rest of your life—free from spiritual abuse.

Kathy Shelton

 

Can you cry?

This may sound like a strange question. However, in my ministry experiences with brokenhearted people, several of them were completely unable to cry. When they contacted me for help, their emotions had been shut down for years as the result of traumatic situations that had happened in their lives!

If this describes you, you need to know that God created our brains in a way to shut down our emotions when trauma becomes so intense that we cannot handle the pain. The way our brains deal with that overwhelming trauma often looks like we are numb—because we are—we are not responding emotionally to the trauma. This is for our own benefit and protection. Our response to trauma can also look like confusion. The bottom line is that God created our brains to operate this way when we are confronted with tremendous emotional pain and trauma. As a result, we can continue to function at some level in spite of horrific and intense trauma in our lives.

After returning from the Healing the Brokenhearted (HBH) Ministry training seminar that I attended in August 2008, I asked my husband to help me as I ministered to myself. At the seminar, I became aware that there were some deep issues of pain and trauma that the Lord wanted to heal in me. He wanted that emotional pain and trauma released from my heart and from my spirit. The day after I returned from the seminar, the Lord showed me that it was time. So, I asked my husband to help me, which he did. As I proceeded through the HBH process that I had learned, I was absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of emotional pain that was released as we prayed. The tears and the emotional pain that came out from very deep within me were unexpected and eye-opening. I cried buckets of tears! I had no idea that I was carrying that amount of emotional pain. I had no idea that someone could function while carrying that amount of emotional pain. However, as I said above, God has created us with the ability—our brains have the ability—to suppress the pain so that we can function to whatever degree. Once my prayer session was over and I had released an enormous amount of pain, I realized that if I could be walking around and functioning, doing my daily tasks, carrying that amount of pain, so could many, many other people.

Over the years as I have ministered to others in individual prayer sessions, during seminars, and during workshops, I have seen that level of pain released dozens and dozens of times. There was one woman—and this is not uncommon—who had been sexually abused as a child by a family member. As I ministered to her during a live demonstration at an HBH informational seminar years ago, a similar amount of deeply suppressed emotional pain came out of this woman. Another time, a different volunteer for the live demonstration at a seminar was literally shaking as she was crying and releasing the pain that had been stuffed for decades. She began shaking and trembling uncontrollably as it came up. I prayed and asked Jesus to release the pain and fill them both with peace. He did just that and they were very grateful to be free from that emotional pain.

One of the other women to whom I ministered HBH, came to a prayer session immediately after signing her divorce paperwork at the courthouse. She was not aware that was going to happen that day. The original plan was to work on some financial support details until the divorce was finalized at a later date. However, this dear lady was completely blindsided when the attorneys announced the divorce would be final after that hearing. When she came to her appointment, all she could do was cry. That was the best thing I could let her do during that session, and she cried and cried and cried. As she did, I prayed and asked Jesus to release the pain and fill her with peace. I set my plan for that session aside and followed the Lord’s plan to minister to this extremely heartbroken woman. She received what she needed at that session—love and compassion for her hurting heart, mind and spirit.

The beautiful thing that I have observed after ministering to women who were totally shut down emotionally was that after Jesus released an amount of the pain and trauma that they were carrying, they were finally able to cry. The tears flowed. I have often told ministry recipients that if they feel like crying, let yourself do it, if you can, because tears are healing. Releasing that pain is one step to healing and freedom. We were never meant to hold the emotional pain and trauma our entire lives. Eventually it either explodes out of us, or it makes us so physically sick that we cannot function at the level that we are supposed to be living.

Occasionally people have said to me, “All I do is cry when pain surfaces between sessions.” I tell them that is good because being able to cry is an absolute gift from God. It is being able to feel those emotions and release that pain. I encourage them to ask Jesus to release that pain—to take that pain, to remove it from their hearts, to remove it from their minds and spirits, to heal those places where that pain was—as they cry. More than a few people have told me that when they do that they feel so much better, they feel relief. I also encourage them to ask the Holy Spirit to fill those voids with His peace.

So many people were raised, especially men, being told, “Don’t cry.” (“Men don’t cry.”) Well, when men go through healing for emotional pain and trauma, they cry. They are able to cry after they have received the healing they need. Men need to cry just as much as women do—sometimes more so. If that describes you and you are a man who has been told all your life, “Men don’t cry. Stop crying. Don’t cry,” I would encourage you to seek help, because most men may not cry, but the painful emotions come out in some other way. Normally, men experience anger when emotional pain and trauma come up. There are a lot of good reasons for anger to be attached to pain and trauma, but when anger erupts, it does not release the pain and trauma. Anger that is attached to emotional pain and trauma is usually released as the pain and trauma are released in a prayer session, not the other way around. (Many people tell us that we should not be angry, especially if you are a Christian. You should not get angry. Love everyone. However, expressing anger is not always sin. There is righteous anger and that is what is normally attached to emotional pain and trauma. I will address the issue of anger in more detail in a future article.) We all need to be able to cry! 

It is amazing how God created our brains, our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)! I have been in awe of what I have seen the Lord Jesus Christ do as I have ministered over the years. I have been in awe of how our Most High God is able to heal even the deepest pain, even the deepest hurts and damage from horrific trauma. I have been so blessed to take part in the healing of the brokenhearted.

If you cannot cry, I would encourage you today to understand several things. You are carrying a level of pain that, if it is not dealt with, one day will come out. It will erupt out of you like a volcano. You need to deal with that pain before that happens. That emotional pain and trauma has caused your brain to shut down your ability to cry. One way or the other, whether it is physical illness or an emotional outburst coming from deep within you, the pain and trauma will eventually be triggered. When that suppressed pain gets triggered, it is not pretty. The emotional pain and trauma can cause your whole being—mind, body, heart, and spirit—to be in a state of dis-ease. It has caused you to be less than what God created you to be. You can get to the place where God wants you to be—whole and healed—able to deal with future pain and trauma in a healthy way. You can be free from that emotional pain and trauma!

I would encourage you to, number one, have hope, and number two, do not pretend that there is nothing wrong.

I would encourage you to pursue healing for your heart.

Kathy Shelton