Inner Healing — Healing from the Inside Out

 

There is a great need for inner healing in this world! So many people are miserable because they cannot bear the emotional and spiritual pain from trauma that they are carrying. That pain results in addiction, abuse, murder, abandonment, physical illness, suicide, and many other epidemics  in our society. Inner healing from emotional and spiritual pain that we have suffered is not optional if we desire to fulfill the Lord’s destiny for us.

Trauma can be experienced in many ways including molestation, rape, death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, and natural disasters. Abuse, including mental, verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse, produces traumatic effects on our hearts and spirits. Traumatic situations always leave our hearts and spirits broken. Without inner healing for the emotional and spiritual pain, we can become bitter, resentful, excessively angry, full of hatred, and physically ill.

Luke 6:45 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” (NKJV)

The good treasure in our hearts does produce good in our lives, but it does not prevent the evil treasure from producing pain and suffering for our family and friends. Those closest to us—the ones we love and who love us—end up being easy targets when our own pain and trauma is triggered. This dynamic alone causes more relationship issues, broken homes, and divorces than most people realize.

A large portion of the evil treasure of our hearts is formed as a result of painful and traumatic circumstances. We often suppress the emotional and spiritual pain without even trying as a defense mechanism that we develop to continue to function form day-to-day. However, the pain will not stay hidden forever, and it will eventually erupt like a volcano. That is when the abundance of the heart pours out of our mouths, or through our ungodly actions. Denying that emotional and spiritual pain exist within our hearts will never stop that from happening, and it will never cause the inner healing that we need to be accomplished.

Many people have hurt us because they were carrying emotional and spiritual pain and trauma for which they never received healing. It is often said that hurt people, hurt people. That is true, but no excuse for us to continue to hurt others because we have not pursued inner healing for ourselves.

In Psalm 51:10, David prayed, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (NKJV)

A clean heart represents a heart that has received healing for the things it contains that are not godly and glorifying to God. Our spirits cannot be steadfast as long as we are suffering the effects of pain and trauma. We must ask God to show us what is in our hearts and spirits that needs to be released so that we can truly obey Him in every area of our lives. That is the first step.

Bible-based inner healing that relies on the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit is the most effective and long-lasting healing. We do not have to live our lives in a prison of pain and trauma that we carry in our hearts and spirits! Isaiah 61:1 says that Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted—not Buddha, Allah, Mohammed, or any pagan god. Jesus Christ, the Son of Almighty God, came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. True freedom is possible if it is pursued in a godly way.

Asking for help to receive inner healing takes courage and a willingness to admit that there is emotional and spiritual pain and trauma that is contributing to your lack of peace. Talking to a Christian counselor or prayer minister about your need for inner healing may seem frightening, but it will be the most important step you can take to help yourself and those you love. The Lord has provided many Christian ministries that help with inner healing. However, they will not search you out. You must do some research and find the best one for the specific pain and trauma that you have experienced. Our website includes a HELPFUL RESOURCES page (CLICK HERE) on the top menu that includes suggestions for ministries that you may want to contact for help.

Inner healing for emotional and spiritual pain is a process like peeling an onion. I pray that you will allow yourself the time necessary and receive the Lord’s grace to continue one day at a time. Each step you take in the inner healing process will bring you that much closer to Almighty God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

Kathy Shelton
 

What did you just say?

Our words carry so much weight, especially in the spiritual realm. The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. As always, the Bible is absolutely true.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.” (Amplified Bible) (portion underlined for emphasis)

We need to be very careful about the words that we allow to come out of our mouths. Word curses are very real and they have significant power. People who are serving the kingdom of darkness know this very well. They speak word curses, curses, spells, and incantations, and they see the results of the words that come out of their mouths on a regular basis.

Christians are not exempt from speaking word curses. They do it all the time. I know numerous followers of Jesus, myself included, who have unintentionally spoken word curses over others. We can also bring curses upon ourselves based on things that we have said about ourselves! Once you become aware of this principle, then you are responsible for what you do and what words you speak in the future.

There is a difference between speaking a word curse and speaking the truth—saying something that is factual. An example of a factual statement would be saying, “My father just died.” That is not a word curse. That is a fact. “I just filed bankruptcy,” is also not a word curse. That is a fact. However, if someone says, “I am telling you right now, you are going to file bankruptcy within the next five years because… ,” that is a word curse. They are negating the power of God in someone’s life when they say those words. I know people who have told others, “You are going to end up divorced in the next ten years!” That is another example of a word curse. That does not take the Lord’s redemptive power into account and acknowledge that all things are possible with God. We must be very careful what we allow to come out of our mouths!

Many of the women and men to whom I have ministered in personal inner healing sessions or group workshops and seminars have been told as children that they were not good enough. They were told that they were stupid—that they were ugly, too this, or too that. Those were word curses that effected them throughout their lives in many, many ways. It is a form of brainwashing that is tremendously hurtful to the person receiving those word curses.

Another example of the power of word curses in someone’s life is when a person is told that they are not smart enough to do whatever they think they would like to do. If they are told that enough by people who have significant authority and influence in their life, they will many times just give up pursuing the dream they once had. Word curses can change the course of a person’s life!

My father told me before I married my ex-husband that my fiancé, Sam, not his real name, was too good for me. That was a horrible word curse. It impacted me greatly after we were married. Sam began hitting me and abusing me in other ways one week into our marriage. More than once while the abuse was happening, I remembered what my father had said. How could this man who was supposedly “too good for me” be abusing me? I tried to be a better wife, thinking that if I only did better, my husband would treat me well and not abuse me any longer. My father’s words did not cause my ex-husband to abuse me, but they did affect how I thought about that abuse and my decision to stay with him in spite of that abuse.

Word curses can also be spoken in anger to us or by us to others. Words said in anger can be very damaging. The effects of those words are long-lasting and hurtful to hearts and spirits.

One woman was told by several family members that if she divorced her husband, she would go to hell. All the people involved were professing Christians. Yet, they told this woman who was being abused physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually that if she divorced her husband she would go to hell. Their words could have kept her in that horrific marriage. She had two small children who were also being impacted by the ungodly actions of their father. That woman did eventually divorce her husband. I don’t believe for one second that she is on her way to hell because she left her husband and his abuse. That does not line up with Scripture and the love of God for us!

Christians need to diligently watch their words! So many have used Scripture from the Bible, taken out of context, to speak word curses over others. That does not honor our Most High God, our loving heavenly Father. He says that He wants the best for us—that He has a future and a hope for us. He had a future and a hope for that young woman and her two children that did not include continuing to be subjected to that horrible abuse.

Another woman to whom I ministered told me of being involved with a practicing witch in her past before she became a Christian. She was told many ungodly things by the witch. I believe she was told that something terrible would happen if she discontinued her involvement with that witch. During the time when the witch was mentoring her, the woman began having visions of herself driving off a secluded road. She had those visions repeatedly. One day after discontinuing that relationship, the woman found herself driving on that road. She recognized the road from her visions. She ended up driving off the  side of the road and going down a cliff! Miraculously, she survived that “accident.” She believed that accident was the result of words spoken over her by the witch.

Word curses from any source, including curses and all of the evil words that people who are serving the devil and the kingdom of darkness speak, can have a huge impact on our lives. However, we can break word curses because of the power of the blood of Jesus Christ! What Jesus Christ did on the cross was more powerful than any word curse, than any spell, than any curse that can possibly be spoken over us by Christians or non-Christians. Jesus’ blood provided the means for us to be set free from those curses. Jesus’ resurrection provided the power to break word curses. We have to believe it is possible and we have to pursue freedom. We also have to be walking with the Lord in a way that is free of known sin in our life. We cannot be straddling the fence. We cannot have one foot in the kingdom of God and one foot in the kingdom of darkness and expect to have the authority we need to break word curses that have been spoken over us.

We must be fully and totally sold out to the Most High God, Yahweh, the Creator of heaven and earth. Then we can apply the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, over us to cleanse ourselves from those curses. The most important part of that process is that we have fully given our hearts, minds, and spirits to our Most High God. We must have submitted ourselves to the Lord Jesus Christ and asked Him to be our personal Lord and Savior, not just our Savior, but our Lord and Savior. Repentance is crucial. Turning from ungodly habits and known sin is vital.

Following the Lord, following His leading, and obeying Him are essential for freedom. We cannot expect to have victory over the word curses that have been spoken to us, by us, or over us if we are not walking with the Lord to the best of our ability. It’s not a game. Satan is very serious about wanting to destroy as many people as he can on this planet. He is doing a really good job. Yes, the devil is very disappointed when people become Christians. He is very unhappy about that. However, the devil doesn’t stop when someone says, “I am a Christian. Jesus is my Lord and Savior.” Satan does not stop attacking us until the day we die. We have to stop giving him the pathway to attack us by our own words, or by words spoken over us by others. We have to break those word curses in Jesus’ name once we have surrendered our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you need help doing this, or if you feel like you are just drowning from word curses from others, or any other form of curses from the kingdom of darkness, there is help available. Check out our HELPFUL RESOURCES page or contact me for more information. Word curses can play a part in causing our hearts to be broken. God does not want us to continue living with broken hearts! He wants the work that His Son did on the cross when Jesus said, “It is finished,” to be the source of victory in our lives. Take steps towards your victory by pursuing the freedom that you need from word curses. Begin the habit of speaking words of blessing over yourself and others. Be blessed today as you surrender your life to the One who loves you more than you can imagine—Jesus Christ.

Kathy Shelton

The Trauma and Heartbreak of Spiritual Abuse

The seriousness of spiritual abuse and its effects

cannot be overstated!

Some people do not think of spiritual abuse as being traumatic and heart-breaking, especially when a person is in the midst of that abuse. The deception accompanying spiritual abuse often keeps the victim in a state of confusion and disbelief. They may ask themselves, “How can people who are supposed to be helping me grow in the things of God be abusing me?” Unfortunately, spiritual abuse happens more often than one might imagine. The results are ugly and very devastating.

I have ministered to many women who have been spiritually abused since I began ministering to the brokenhearted. Yes, there are the obvious ritual abuse and Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) survivors who suffered extreme levels of spiritual abuse. There are also those who have come out of mainstream churches, Christian organizations, and non-Christian organizations where there was intense spiritual abuse that caused them substantial amounts of pain and trauma.

Anytime a person places themselves in authority over another person in the place of the authority position of the Lord Jesus Christ that is a recipe for spiritual abuse! Anytime someone is told that the person in authority knows better because they “have a better connection to the Lord,” or “to God,” that is a wide open door to spiritual abuse.

One of the ladies to whom I ministered in the past told me about an abusive incident, which was one of many, that she experienced with her husband. She had disagreed with him about something that a man in ministry was teaching. She said that her husband grabbed her arm, twisted it behind her back, and repeatedly yelled at her that she needed to repent for disagreeing with the minister. He told her that she needed to ask God to forgive her for having the “horrible” thought that the man in ministry could possibly be wrong. The lady was in tears as she shared the details of these events with me. That was physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse as well as spiritual abuse! This is just one example of spiritual abuse being accompanied by other forms of abuse. It is often the case that emotional, verbal, mental, physical and/or sexual abuse happen together with spiritual abuse. 

The damage that is done to a person’s heart, mind and spirit, to their whole being, as the result of spiritual abuse can be overwhelming. It can be devastating. It can lead to that person not being able to function normally in any way. Survivors of spiritual abuse often struggle with anger. They experience different levels of anger as a result of that abuse. Most of the time, it is righteous anger and not sin.  The pain and trauma of spiritual abuse can also lead to suicide if the victim becomes hopeless about the possibility of relief from that pain.

People who are spiritually abusive often twist Scripture. They take Bible verses out of context. They manipulate people in ways that are absolutely inspired by the kingdom of darkness. Perpetrators of spiritual abuse also use isolation, secrecy, and fear to control their victims. They count on the victims’ silence about their abuse. All of these things make it very difficult for a victim to break free and receive the healing they desperately need for the pain and trauma.

However, the abusers are sometimes deceived themselves into thinking that what they are doing is right. A lot of the perpetrators of spiritual abuse are deceived, and the nature of deception is that the person does not realize that they are deceived. That is no excuse and does not forgive their behavior, nor does it release them from accountability. They will answer to God for their actions just as we all will answer to Him for our actions. On the other hand, many perpetrators of spiritual abuse know exactly what they are doing!

The perpetrators of spiritual abuse do not usually stop because they are convicted by the Holy Spirit, or something inside of them says that they have gone over the line. Normally, someone who is spiritually abusive only stops if they are caught, if they are exposed, or if they fear that they are in danger of suffering consequences for their behavior that are greater than the fulfillment that they receive from being abusive.

Several of the women to whom I ministered were survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). One of those ladies told me the reason that the abuse finally stopped for her. The high priest was in the process of murdering her in a horrific way when he suddenly, and unexplainable in the natural realm, died. His neck snapped. The lady told me that she believed it was angels that came to her assistance at that time when the perpetrator was going to end her life. I do not believe that the high priest would have stopped otherwise. The Lord came to her rescue.

People will ask, “Why does God allow people to be spiritually abused? Why doesn’t He stop all of it?” It is the same reason that He does not stop sin in general in this world. He has given us all a free will. We need to stop blaming God for all these horrific things that happen and put the blame where it belongs—on the human beings who make the choice to be abusive and on the kingdom of darkness that inspires those evil choices. Spiritual abuse is one of Satan’s many tools to destroy human hearts, minds and spirits.

When people invite Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior, they often have experienced significant pain and trauma in their lives and they are brokenhearted. Many times that is what draws them to the Lord Jesus Christ, because He is so loving and forgiving, and it is an opportunity to be accepted in spite of all of their past sin, pain, and trauma. However, because of that, they are also easy targets for those who are spiritually abusive. Christians, especially new Christians, are normally too trusting.

Jesus Christ is never spiritually abusive. He never tries to force anyone to do anything against their will. Jesus understands the frailty of human beings. He understands the sin nature of human beings and how it can interfere with our relationship with God. He did not accept or condone sin, but He forgave and told people to “go and sin no more.” That is God’s will for us—that we would be forgiven and that we would not repeat the sin in the future. That is called repentance. Abusers rarely repent, although they may call themselves Christians. They are not truly following Jesus Christ.

Back to the survivors of spiritual abuse and people currently going through spiritual abuse… If that describes you, I would highly recommend that you seek help from a trained, qualified Christian prayer minister or counselor who can give you the assistance you need to obtain freedom from the pain and heartbreak of spiritual abuse. Look for someone who can help you receive the healing you need from the effects of that abuse. God loves you and He wants you to be whole. He wants you to be free. He wants you to be healed. He has a destiny for your life and it is not for you to experience or suffer through spiritual abuse and its effects any longer. Please make the decision today to step out and pursue your healing and freedom. It is worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT.

There are suggested resources on the HELPFUL RESOURCES page on this website (CLICK HERE). You can also contact me for more information by filling out the form on the CONTACT AFJM page (CLICK HERE).

May God bless you! My prayer for you is that you will have the strength to stand up and make today the first day of the rest of your life—free from spiritual abuse.

Kathy Shelton

 

The Pain

Emotional pain.
Physical pain.
Mental pain.
Spiritual pain.

The emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual pain from trauma can cause you to do many different things to try to escape, or cope with, the pain you are feeling. It can cause you to turn to drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, pornography, cutting, denial, anger, and other self-destructive behaviors. The pain is so real. The pain is so intense. The pain can also cause you to wear a mask around others. You don’t want others to see how deeply you are hurting.

Trauma includes emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, ritual abuse, molestation, rape, death of a loved one, divorce, accidents, and natural disasters. The levels of emotional pain that we can experience from trauma vary greatly. As it becomes more severe, the emotional pain from trauma can, and often does, cause physical illness.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is pervasive in the world today. I believe that many more people are walking around with PTSD than anyone realizes. It can lead to all of the behaviors I mentioned above and that last, most self-destructive action of suicide.

Many people just don’t know how to cope. They may try to get help, but it may be unsuccessful, or even cause more damage. So, they may eventually turn to wearing a mask, not letting anyone know how severely brokenhearted they are—not letting anyone know the level of pain that they are carrying. However, the more that you wear that mask, the more that you try to please others, the more the mask becomes part of who you are! The following poem by Helen Joseph, The Mask, addresses this very well.

Always a mask

Held in the slim hand,

Whitely,

Always she had a mask

Before her face–

Smiling and sprightly,

The Mask.

 

Truly the wrist

Holding it lightly

Fitted the task:

Sometimes however

Was there a shiver,

Fingertip quiver,

Ever so slightly–

Holding the mask?

 

For years and years and

Years I wondered

But dared not ask.

 

And then–

I blundered,

I looked behind,

Behind the mask

To find

Nothing–She had no face.

She had become

Merely a hand

Holding a mask

With grace.

I have quoted the above poem during my Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry seminars and workshops for many years. There has always been a very strong reaction to the poem from those in attendance. Many people can relate to wearing a mask. It is not socially acceptable to wear your pain on your sleeve—to let it be known to others. Unfortunately—very unfortunately—in the Christian Church, in the Body of Christ, there is so much pain, so much emotional pain being carried by believers and they are afraid to be real with anyone. They have been hurt too much. They may have been spiritually abused. They don’t want to take a chance that it will happen again.

You can go to a church service and look around. You will see rows and rows of people wearing their masks. If you ask them how they are doing, they will answer, “I’m doing fine. I’m doing good. I am blessed.” Yes, Christians are blessed because Jesus came, died, and rose again so that we can spend eternity with Him and the Father in heaven. However, life on this earth is difficult to say the least. It is not a bed of roses even for, and sometimes especially for, Christians. We have all experienced emotional pain and trauma!

The answer, however, is not to walk around wearing a mask! The answer is not to worry about what others will think. Our Most High God is the only One we need to please. Wearing masks does not please Him. If we please Him, then we will be pleasing those people He wants us to please. We cannot do that while wearing a mask!

Instead of continuing to wear a mask that will draw you deeper and deeper into isolation from others, you need to find someone with whom you can share your deepest pain. You need to allow that mask to come off. You need to be careful, because as we have all found out, not everyone is safe. However, you’ll never know who is safe unless you take a chance. Ask a Christian friend or family member if they know of a safe believer that you can contact for help.

JESUS is always safe! Talk to Him. Pray. He will lead you and guide you. You can also send us a prayer request on our PRAYER REQUESTS page (CLICK HERE). In addition, we have added a HELPFUL RESOURCES page (CLICK HERE) on the menu at the top of the website that includes suggestions for ministries that you may want to contact for help.

May the Lord Jesus bless you as you seek His healing and freedom from past pain and trauma. I pray that your heart will be open to receiving that healing and freedom and that nothing will stop you from pursuing it. I bless you as you determine to stop wearing a mask long enough to get the help you need so that one day you will not have to wear that mask. May Jesus Christ strengthen your heart and give you courage. May you see the goodness of the Lord as you remove your mask!

Kathy Shelton

Be angry and do not sin…

 

Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Psalm 4:4 (New King James Version)

You can be angry, but do not sin! Think about this as you lie in bed, and calm down. Psalm 4:4 (Complete Jewish Bible)

Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, Ephesians 4:26 (New King James Version)

Be angry, but don’t sin— don’t let the sun go down before you have dealt with the cause of your anger; Ephesians 4:26 (Complete Jewish Bible)

Okay. So the Bible tells us that we can be angry, but not to let it escalate into sin. That is what it says! It does not say do not be angry, period, as so many people have taught or preached. I have heard many testimonies from people who were told to repent of their anger that had resulted from an emotionally painful or traumatic situation. That is ridiculous!

God created us with emotions. One of those emotions is anger. There are several types of anger that people experience. Anger can be righteous anger, meaning that it is justified and godly, resulting from something unjust and hurtful that happened to us. God’s anger is reported in many places in the Bible, and it resulted from the sin and disobedience of human beings. However, God’s anger is never sin. He is holy and righteous.

Most of us in the United States felt righteous anger after 9/11. That is not sin. That is a result of a horrific act that was perpetrated against our country and thousands of innocent people. As I have ministered to survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse, I have seen incredible levels of righteous anger attached to the emotional, spiritual, and physical pain and trauma that they had been carrying for decades. To tell them to repent for their anger would be further abuse! The same is true for survivors of sexual abuse and molestation. See the post, It is not who you are!, dated May 2, 2015, in which I described a woman who had over-the-top levels of anger that were surfacing as a result of past sexual abuse. We should never tell others to repent for righteous anger!

Of course there are times when our anger is sin. That occurs when we allow our emotions to spiral out of control past the point of righteous anger. That is sin. In that case, when we step, or leap, over that line, we do need to ask God and anyone at whom we released the anger to forgive us.

There can also be demonic spirits of anger that are attached to our own sinful anger, or to the pain and trauma that we have stuffed. During ministry sessions with wounded individuals, I have observed that righteous anger, or demonic spirits of anger, can be, and often are, attached to pain and trauma that has been suppressed in someone’s heart or spirit. No amount of repenting will free a person from that anger. Only after the pain and trauma are released will the anger be released as well. Demonic spirits must usually be dealt with to rid a person of them once that person has asked for forgiveness for the sin, or received healing from pain and trauma. Once that happens, the demonic spirits will leave. However, I have also observed a great amount of spontaneous deliverance during ministry sessions when people are healed and the pain and trauma are released. Praise the Lord!

One of the reasons, I believe, that typical deliverance methods used by many in the Church are only temporarily helpful is because the demonic spirits returned and reattached to the pain and trauma to which they were originally attached unless it too has been healed and released.

Having experienced emotionally, physically, or spiritually painful and traumatic events should not be an excuse to continue acting out in anger! Repeated episodes of unexplained anger should be a signal to you that you need to get help. Just saying, “I am this way because of what I have gone through in my life,” is a cop-out. Yes, the pain and trauma from the things that you experienced may very well be the root of the anger that keeps you in bondage. However, it does not need to continue! There is help available for you to receive healing and freedom. If you need assistance in finding help, please use the Contact AFJM form on this website.

God does not want you to remain a prisoner of the pain and trauma from your past! He has provided help through His Son, Jesus Christ, but you must pursue healing and freedom.

Kathy Shelton

 

 

 

 

Can you cry?

This may sound like a strange question. However, in my ministry experiences with brokenhearted people, several of them were completely unable to cry. When they contacted me for help, their emotions had been shut down for years as the result of traumatic situations that had happened in their lives!

If this describes you, you need to know that God created our brains in a way to shut down our emotions when trauma becomes so intense that we cannot handle the pain. The way our brains deal with that overwhelming trauma often looks like we are numb—because we are—we are not responding emotionally to the trauma. This is for our own benefit and protection. Our response to trauma can also look like confusion. The bottom line is that God created our brains to operate this way when we are confronted with tremendous emotional pain and trauma. As a result, we can continue to function at some level in spite of horrific and intense trauma in our lives.

After returning from the Healing the Brokenhearted (HBH) Ministry training seminar that I attended in August 2008, I asked my husband to help me as I ministered to myself. At the seminar, I became aware that there were some deep issues of pain and trauma that the Lord wanted to heal in me. He wanted that emotional pain and trauma released from my heart and from my spirit. The day after I returned from the seminar, the Lord showed me that it was time. So, I asked my husband to help me, which he did. As I proceeded through the HBH process that I had learned, I was absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of emotional pain that was released as we prayed. The tears and the emotional pain that came out from very deep within me were unexpected and eye-opening. I cried buckets of tears! I had no idea that I was carrying that amount of emotional pain. I had no idea that someone could function while carrying that amount of emotional pain. However, as I said above, God has created us with the ability—our brains have the ability—to suppress the pain so that we can function to whatever degree. Once my prayer session was over and I had released an enormous amount of pain, I realized that if I could be walking around and functioning, doing my daily tasks, carrying that amount of pain, so could many, many other people.

Over the years as I have ministered to others in individual prayer sessions, during seminars, and during workshops, I have seen that level of pain released dozens and dozens of times. There was one woman—and this is not uncommon—who had been sexually abused as a child by a family member. As I ministered to her during a live demonstration at an HBH informational seminar years ago, a similar amount of deeply suppressed emotional pain came out of this woman. Another time, a different volunteer for the live demonstration at a seminar was literally shaking as she was crying and releasing the pain that had been stuffed for decades. She began shaking and trembling uncontrollably as it came up. I prayed and asked Jesus to release the pain and fill them both with peace. He did just that and they were very grateful to be free from that emotional pain.

One of the other women to whom I ministered HBH, came to a prayer session immediately after signing her divorce paperwork at the courthouse. She was not aware that was going to happen that day. The original plan was to work on some financial support details until the divorce was finalized at a later date. However, this dear lady was completely blindsided when the attorneys announced the divorce would be final after that hearing. When she came to her appointment, all she could do was cry. That was the best thing I could let her do during that session, and she cried and cried and cried. As she did, I prayed and asked Jesus to release the pain and fill her with peace. I set my plan for that session aside and followed the Lord’s plan to minister to this extremely heartbroken woman. She received what she needed at that session—love and compassion for her hurting heart, mind and spirit.

The beautiful thing that I have observed after ministering to women who were totally shut down emotionally was that after Jesus released an amount of the pain and trauma that they were carrying, they were finally able to cry. The tears flowed. I have often told ministry recipients that if they feel like crying, let yourself do it, if you can, because tears are healing. Releasing that pain is one step to healing and freedom. We were never meant to hold the emotional pain and trauma our entire lives. Eventually it either explodes out of us, or it makes us so physically sick that we cannot function at the level that we are supposed to be living.

Occasionally people have said to me, “All I do is cry when pain surfaces between sessions.” I tell them that is good because being able to cry is an absolute gift from God. It is being able to feel those emotions and release that pain. I encourage them to ask Jesus to release that pain—to take that pain, to remove it from their hearts, to remove it from their minds and spirits, to heal those places where that pain was—as they cry. More than a few people have told me that when they do that they feel so much better, they feel relief. I also encourage them to ask the Holy Spirit to fill those voids with His peace.

So many people were raised, especially men, being told, “Don’t cry.” (“Men don’t cry.”) Well, when men go through healing for emotional pain and trauma, they cry. They are able to cry after they have received the healing they need. Men need to cry just as much as women do—sometimes more so. If that describes you and you are a man who has been told all your life, “Men don’t cry. Stop crying. Don’t cry,” I would encourage you to seek help, because most men may not cry, but the painful emotions come out in some other way. Normally, men experience anger when emotional pain and trauma come up. There are a lot of good reasons for anger to be attached to pain and trauma, but when anger erupts, it does not release the pain and trauma. Anger that is attached to emotional pain and trauma is usually released as the pain and trauma are released in a prayer session, not the other way around. (Many people tell us that we should not be angry, especially if you are a Christian. You should not get angry. Love everyone. However, expressing anger is not always sin. There is righteous anger and that is what is normally attached to emotional pain and trauma. I will address the issue of anger in more detail in a future article.) We all need to be able to cry! 

It is amazing how God created our brains, our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)! I have been in awe of what I have seen the Lord Jesus Christ do as I have ministered over the years. I have been in awe of how our Most High God is able to heal even the deepest pain, even the deepest hurts and damage from horrific trauma. I have been so blessed to take part in the healing of the brokenhearted.

If you cannot cry, I would encourage you today to understand several things. You are carrying a level of pain that, if it is not dealt with, one day will come out. It will erupt out of you like a volcano. You need to deal with that pain before that happens. That emotional pain and trauma has caused your brain to shut down your ability to cry. One way or the other, whether it is physical illness or an emotional outburst coming from deep within you, the pain and trauma will eventually be triggered. When that suppressed pain gets triggered, it is not pretty. The emotional pain and trauma can cause your whole being—mind, body, heart, and spirit—to be in a state of dis-ease. It has caused you to be less than what God created you to be. You can get to the place where God wants you to be—whole and healed—able to deal with future pain and trauma in a healthy way. You can be free from that emotional pain and trauma!

I would encourage you to, number one, have hope, and number two, do not pretend that there is nothing wrong.

I would encourage you to pursue healing for your heart.

Kathy Shelton

Why did this happen to me?

  Trauma…

Abuse

Rape

Molestation

Natural Disasters

Divorce

Betrayal

Rejection

Abandonment

The list goes on and on. These are all horrible things that can happen to us as we live our lives—and they can all cause us intense emotional and spiritual pain, which can also lead to physical illness and physical pain!

You may be asking yourself that question, “Why did this happen to me?”  Be careful. That question can lead to bitterness, anger, resentment, blaming God, blaming yourself, or blaming someone else because the pain from that traumatic experience has been eating away at you. When horrific things happen to us, whether it is a divorce, abuse, or any other trauma, we can be in so much pain that it can lead to physical illness. Yes, the emotional and/or spiritual pain that we carry can and often does lead to physical illness.

We have to understand that it was never God’s perfect will for us to suffer the trauma that we went through. Years ago, one couple in ministry told me that a lady to whom they ministered was a Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) survivor. The lady had told them that she believed it was her “lot in life,” her destiny, to be the recipient of Satanic Ritual Abuse. She was convinced that, for some reason, God had appointed her to go through that horrific abuse. I do not believe that at all. That goes completely against what God’s Word says. He loves us! He wants the best for us. Being traumatized by Satanic Ritual Abuse is not God’s will for anyone.

However, we live in a messed up world and there is a kingdom of darkness. That kingdom of darkness inspires people to do things that are hurtful, painful, traumatic and downright unthinkable at times. God has given us an amazing gift of free will. I praise Him for that gift because without our free will, we would all be like little robots, walking around only doing what we were programmed to do. I thank God that we have the ability to make choices, to make decisions, but that ability also leads to a lot of the pain and a lot of the trauma that people suffer.

Many, many people, including Christians, have suffered trauma at the hands of close friends, family, and other Christians. We all have a free will. That is why we accepted the Lord in the first place. We were given a choice and we said, “Yes.” If we had not had a free will, the discussion would be over. So we have to remember that along with that gift of free will comes a lot of pain and trauma at times at the hands of those closest to us. The enemy, Satan, knows that he can cause us the deepest and most intense pain through those that we love.

The answer is not to allow the pain from the trauma to eat you alive. The answer is not to stuff it. The answer is not to medicate it. The answer is not to drown it in alcohol. The answer is not to do anything else harmful to yourself to try to deaden the pain. The answer is to seek healing—and Jesus Christ is the Healer. He came to set the captives free. He came to heal the brokenhearted (Isaiah 61:1). First, we have to admit that we are brokenhearted. We have to admit that the pain is damaging our relationships with others, especially with God. We have to draw as close to Him as we can, seek His healing, and seek His restoration.

It is not uncommon for someone to say that they cannot forgive the person that was responsible for the pain that they have experienced. That is a reality. Over the years, I have learned that it is not enough just to say, “I forgive,” and grit your teeth, trying to do it in your own strength, because it does not work. If the emotional and/or spiritual pain is intense and the trauma was deeply emotional, deeply hurtful, the pain that is attached can cause a person who is very sincerely wanting to forgive not to be able to forgive from their heart—even though they want to, even though they make the choice to forgive. The pain that they are carrying blocks their ability to truly and deeply forgive.

Ministering to one SRA survivor, I learned the importance of allowing healing to occur and not to try to facilitate forgiveness before the pain was released. I did not try to lead that person through a forgiveness prayer. They would have probably done it to be cooperative, but it would not have helped them to get to the place of true heartfelt forgiveness. The pain they were carrying was so unimaginably deep and intense that if they were able to make that choice, the prayer would have been superficial and it would not have helped them to receive the healing they really needed. However, after ministering to that person for a period of time, it was amazing to watch as the pain was released and the healing was accomplished through the love of Jesus. Then the ministry recipient spontaneously forgave all of those involved in the ritual abuse. That is the goal—a deep, heartfelt forgiveness that can only come after someone has been set free from the pain and trauma by Jesus Christ.

There is so much that we have yet to learn about how pain and trauma affect our brains, our spirits, our DNA, and everything about us. We have to be very careful not to think that we understand it all. I guarantee that we don’t. However, as long as we continue to strive to receive the healing we need and not just give in to the pain, there is hope. The hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ came to heal the brokenhearted!

If this describes you and you are in such intense pain that you are medicating it, drowning it in alcohol, or participating in some other addiction or behavior that helps you to numb the pain, you are not alone. You are not alone. The first step is to admit that the pain is there. The second step is to reach out for help in getting free and healed from that pain. There is help available through Christian counselors, prayer ministers, and others who use the Holy Bible as their basis for helping people receive the needed healing.

You are not alone. Jesus said that He would be with you, that He would never forsake you, that He would never leave you, and He wants more than anything for you to be set free and healed. He loves you! That’s hard for some people to believe because people who have told them they love them have caused the most pain. Jesus will never cause you pain. He brings comfort. He brings healing. His healing is not superficial and it is not temporary. It is lasting and it is the only way to get out of the prison that the trauma has put you in. So rejoice in that truth. Thank God that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Seek help—whether it is with a Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry minister or another Christian inner healing ministry. God loves you and He wants you to know that there is help available for your broken heart!

Kathy Shelton

What in the world is going on with me?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?  You love the Lord Jesus and have asked Him into your life, but something is blocking you from receiving freedom from old habits and ungodly reactions to things.

Many times, but not always, the sin that we continue to battle in our lives is the result of past emotional pain and trauma that are festering beneath the surface.  If you find yourself repeatedly “going around the same mountains,” this may be the reason.

Addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography, gambling, food, prescription medications, cutting oneself, or any other thing may be the result of emotional pain and trauma from the past or present. 
 
Trauma includes the death of a loved one, divorce, abuse of any kind (sexual, mental, verbal, emotional, spiritual or physical), repeatedly moving from one location to another (especially during childhood), natural disasters (fires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, etc.), and anything else that is extremely upsetting to the normal life circumstance.
 
As painful memories from past events are triggered and come to the surface, the associated emotional, mental, or physical pain may be intense.  In an attempt to numb or deaden that pain, you may have one, two, three, or more drinks, use drugs, or in some other way try to relieve or remove that pain.  It may work for a short time because the activity changes the chemical balance in your brain.  However, it is not a permanent solution and the unbearable emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain eventually surfaces again.  The cycle of numbing the pain, it reappearing, and numbing it again can lead to full-blown addiction.
 
Does this sound familiar?  If so, the good news is that there is hope!  Many people have received freedom from ungodly behavior, sin, and addictions through inner healing prayer ministry.  Jesus Christ came to set the captives free, but sometimes it requires a person, “Jesus with skin on,” to help in the process.
  
This is what the Healing the Brokenhearted Ministry is about, helping to set people free from the pain and trauma that keeps them bound to sin and ungodly behavior.