The Bible and the Brokenhearted

The Bible has a lot to say about those who are brokenhearted.  It also has the answer for us to be able to receive healing and freedom from the emotional pain and trauma that we experienced in our lives regardless of the amount of time that has passed since the painful situations occurred.  The following verses are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible unless noted otherwise.  They are just a few that address the very common human condition of being brokenhearted.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.      

Psalm 34:18 (NASB, New American Standard Bible)

When we suffer emotional and spiritual pain that is the result of traumatic events, such as any type of abuse, the loss of a loved one, divorce, rape, accidents and natural disasters, our hearts will be broken and our spirits will be crushed.  Trauma devastates us in many ways, but our Most High God provides the comfort and healing we need if we have become His children by having genuinely accepted His Son, Jesus Christ, as our personal Lord and Savior.

We need to be living from the heart that God gave us.  Unfortunately, most of us are living from a heart that is broken.  Living from and with a heart that is broken is a miserable manner in which to live.  It is not the Lord’s perfect will for His children.  His perfect will for us is stated in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Matthew 22:37

Our Most High God also intended for His children to love Him with all their hearts.  If we are living with broken hearts, we cannot love our Heavenly Father with whole hearts.  Healing for the pain and trauma that caused our hearts to be broken must be accomplished before we can truly love God with all our hearts.

Stuffing emotional and spiritual pain does not help, but only makes matters worse, because it will eventually come to the surface, and it can be like a volcano erupting when that happens.  Crying when we are brokenhearted is very healing and cleansing.  Even though Jesus knew that Lazarus had died and that He was going to raise him from the dead, Jesus groaned in His spirit and was troubled, and Jesus wept (John 11:32-35).  He saw the emotional pain that Mary, Lazarus’ sister, was experiencing and Jesus cried.  Crying is a healthy reaction to painful and traumatic situations.

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives…

Luke 4:18

In Luke 4:18 above, Jesus quoted Isaiah 61:1 and then proceeded to add the following:

And He began to say to them, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

Luke 4:21

That is the good news—Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted!  Isaiah 53:4 says that Jesus “has borne our griefs (or sicknesses) and carried our sorrows (or pains).”  These nouns, griefs and sorrows, have reference to sicknesses, both spiritual and physical.  Borne and carried mean to take upon oneself or to carry as a burdenJesus died to take our emotional pain but we must release it to Him.  Through gentle, Holy Spirit led prayer, we can release the hidden emotional pain and trauma to Jesus.

The spirit of a man is the lamp of the LORD, searching all the inner depths of his heart.

Proverbs 20:27

The Lord wants us to search our hearts and acknowledge areas that need emotional and spiritual healing.  That can be a painful process in and of itself, but the end result of receiving godly healing and freedom from pain and trauma is definitely worth the time and effort involved in the inner healing process.

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 15:13

A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.         

Proverbs 17:22

Laughter and having a merry heart is a very important part of the healing process for our broken hearts and crushed spirits.  It does good like medicine and is very healing for our emotional and spiritual pain.  Laughing has many beneficial effects on us emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It is one of the remedies that the Lord created through which we can receive healing when we are brokenhearted.  However, we must deliberately participate in that blessing to receive the healing it provides.  Choosing to laugh and rejoice about something on a daily basis is choosing to have a merry heart!

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 is God’s plan for the brokenhearted.  He wants to comfort us in all our tribulation—in all our emotional and spiritual pain and trauma.  Once we have received a significant level of emotional and spiritual healing, the Lord desires that we then help comfort other brokenhearted people just as we were comforted by God. 

The Bible clearly states God’s promises and provisions of inner healing for the brokenhearted.   Jeremiah 31:3 tells us that our Most High God loves us with an everlasting love!  1 John 4:9 says, “In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him.”  Living through Jesus Christ is the only way that we can receive true and lasting healing for our broken hearts.    

Kathy Shelton

Listen to the Lord!

Pilate therefore said to Him, “Are You a king then?”

Jesus answered, “You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.”

John 18:37 (NKJV)

According to the Word of God, if we are genuine followers of Jesus Christ and He is our personal Lord and Savior, we are supposed to hear the voice of Jesus, the King of kings and Lord of Lords! However, we must listen to hear His voice. Listening is sometimes difficult due to all the noise in our environment that interferes with His voice. It is like the difficulty of tuning a radio when we are trying to find a specific signal for a station, but all that is heard is static and interference from other signals. Our lives and minds are bombarded with sounds from everything we are exposed to in this world, including our own thoughts and the voice of the enemy, Satan.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.

John 10:27 (NKJV)

To focus on listening to the Lord, we must learn to tune out everything that is not from our Most High God, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Spirit. That means turning off all devices that distract us and hinder us from being able to hear God’s still small voice (1 Kings 19:12). To practice listening to the Lord, it is crucial that we turn off the television, phone, tablet, radio, computer and all other electronic devices. We also have to take time away from friends and family to be alone with our Most High God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit on a regular basis in order to develop the ability to clearly hear the Lord. The more we become familiar with His voice, the easier it will be to hear Him and discern His voice in the midst of the distractions around us.

When we are having a particularly hard time hearing the voice of the Lord, we need to pray to tune in better. We can command all voices that are not from God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit to be silent in Jesus’ name! This is such a simple thing to do. Based on our authority as sincere followers of Jesus Christ, it will result in the quieting of our minds, hearts and spirits from the ungodly noise and static. We cannot experience God’s peace unless we practice listening carefully to the Lord’s voice and follow His directions!

However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.  He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you.”

John 16:13-14 (NKJV)

The Holy Spirit will lead us and guide us in our daily lives to make godly choices and decisions if we listen to Him. What we do will glorify our Most High God if we are obedient to follow the truth that the Holy Spirit reveals to us. That truth will always line up with God’s Word and ultimately result in good in our lives. The Lord will never tell us to do anything to cause us harm. However, we may not understand how painful events will lead to good when they are happening to us. That is why we must know—that we know—that we know—that we heard the voice of the Lord directing us in our decisions. As long as we have that confidence that we are in God’s will, the outcome will always result in good for us in the end (Romans 8:28).

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:4-5 (NKJV)

Hearing and listening carefully to the Lord is also essential for us to receive freedom from pain and trauma and healing for our broken hearts. The Lord knows us better than anyone, including ourselves. He knows what we need to do to receive the release of emotional and spiritual pain that is hidden within our hearts and spirits. Because of His amazing love, God sent His Son, Jesus, to offer everyone the opportunity to receive freedom and healing. Jesus carried our grief and sorrows on the cross. The Holy Spirit came to comfort us in our grief and sorrows. Our Most High God has provided the answers for the healing of terrible emotional and spiritual pain. Our job is to listen to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and obey the guidance they give us. As we do that, we will receive peace and our hearts will be healed!  Jesus said:

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27 (NKJV)

Kathy Shelton

Laughter and Healing from Traumatic Events

 

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

 Psalm 27:13-14 (NKJV)

Many people lose heart because they do not believe that they will ever see their situations improve. The emotional and spiritual pain they carry from traumatic events can become unbearable. The enemy can bring discouragement through numerous methods. One of those is when he whispers the lie, “God does not care about you. He would not have allowed this terrible thing to happen if He did.” If we listen to the devil and his lies, our faith will be weakened, our hearts can become more troubled, and deep depression can set in.

Traumatic events always cause a broken heart and spirit. Trauma includes betrayal, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual abuse, ritual abuse, rape, the death of a loved one, divorce, domestic violence, accidents and natural disasters. The levels of emotional pain that we can experience from trauma vary greatly. When traumatic situations are more severe, and if they are ongoing, the emotional pain can, and often does, lead to physical illness.

Secondary trauma is trauma that we heard about or saw that happened to someone else, but did not directly involve us. Secondary trauma can have a significant impact on our hearts and spirits even though we did not experience the traumatic event first-hand. Ministers, counselors, doctors, nurses, mental health workers, police officers, firefighters, and people in many other professions that deal with the public can carry extreme, and sometimes debilitating, amounts of emotional pain from secondary trauma.

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.

Proverbs 15:13 (NKJV)

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV)

These verses make it very clear that a merry heart is good for our physical well-being. However, when we go through emotionally painful and traumatic experiences, it is difficult to have a merry heart. That, in turn, can seriously affect our physical and spiritual health!

If our hearts have been broken, a merry heart is sometimes very difficult to even imagine. However, our broken hearts and spirits can, and often will, result in physical sickness if the emotional and spiritual pain are allowed to continue without relief. That is what is meant by “a broken spirit dries the bones.” Dry bones are not healthy bones.

Not only is our spirit broken by sorrow of the heart, but our physical health is negatively affected as well. If we do not acknowledge the emotional pain and trauma we are carrying and seek help through godly, Bible-based prayer and ministry, the results can be devastating. When we least expect it, the suppressed emotional pain can be triggered by other similar situations, contributing to undesirable and ungodly behavior. This cycle will repeat until a person deals with the inner pain.

Proverbs 17:22 says that a merry heart is good medicine! One way to help the healing of our broken hearts and spirits is to laugh. There is absolutely nothing funny, nor laughable, about suffering emotional and spiritual pain due to a traumatic situation. However, laughing in the face of pain and trauma as we are able to do so is very important. It will help heal our hearts and spirits. If we cannot think of anything to laugh about, watching a funny movie is helpful. Reading a humorous book can also be healing.

Medical and scientific research has found that laughter reduces stress hormones and boosts the immune system. It also lowers blood pressure and reduces physical pain. Once again, the secular world is proving that what the Lord told us in His Word is absolutely true.

Laughter and a merry heart are part of the physical and inner healing process for past and present emotional pain and trauma. They are also excellent maintenance for our bodies and spirits. Genuine followers of Jesus Christ must be intentional and very selective regarding what they read, listen to, and watch in order to maintain a merry heart and peaceful spirit. They must let laughter be a regular part of their daily spiritual exercise.

We cannot allow our circumstances and the people responsible for breaking our hearts to determine our emotional, spiritual and physical health, or lack thereof, by staying in depressed and hopeless states. What Jesus Christ did on the cross for us is more than enough to give us hope and cheer us up. If Jesus Christ is truly someone’s personal Lord and Savior, they have the assurance from our Most High God that they will be rejoicing in heaven with Him and Jesus in the future. So, they must let their hearts be merry about that awesome promise!

Then he said to them, “Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet, and send portions to those for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV)

It requires an inner joy of the Lord to laugh when one’s heart and spirit are broken! If the enemy, Satan, can steal our joy, he has won half the battle. The devil loves to lead a Christian into a state of anxiety, fear, or worry. That is one of the ways he can get their focus off the joy of the Lord. If a person’s heart is broken, they are more likely to succumb to Satan’s tactics. One reason it is so important for us to cling to the joy of the Lord in spite of our circumstances is that it gives us strength against the enemy. It also makes it much easier to have a merry heart.

Laughter and having a merry heart are very important parts of the healing process for our broken hearts and crushed spirits.  Laughing has many beneficial effects on us emotionally, spiritually and physically.  It is one of the remedies that the Lord created through which we can receive some healing when we are brokenhearted.  However, we must deliberately participate in that blessing to receive the healing it provides. Having and sharing a godly sense of humor with others is also extremely healing and essential in the inner healing process. Choosing to laugh and rejoice about something on a daily basis is choosing to have a merry heart!

Kathy Shelton

The Importance of Godly Relationships

The Importance of Supportive, Godly Relationships While Going Through and Healing from Trauma

Supportive, godly relationships are critical as we go through and heal from traumatic situations. Traumatic situations include the death of loved ones, serious illnesses, physical abuse, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse, verbal abuse, rape, domestic violence, being the victim of a crime, divorce, accidents, devastating financial conditions and natural disasters. Those extremely painful circumstances can leave us feeling alone, abandoned, rejected, depressed, hopeless, betrayed and even suicidal at times. Negative and harmful emotional responses are often initiated or exacerbated by the lies of the devil. He always tries to discourage God’s children and lead them into a pit of despair when they are weakened by traumatic situations.

We live in a world full of pain and trauma and there is no way to avoid it. However, our Most High God provided ways for us to not just survive, but to more easily go through and heal from the effects of trauma. We must be diligent in staying connected to God and genuine Christians in order to avoid the traps of the devil that occur if we isolate ourselves due to one-time or ongoing traumatic events.

The eternal God is your refuge,
And underneath are the everlasting arms;

Deuteronomy 33:27 (NKJV)

 

A father of the fatherless and a judge and protector of the widows,
Is God in His holy habitation.

Psalm 68:5 (AMP)

The most important relationships that our Father God wants us to turn to when we experience and need healing from traumatic events are our relationships with Him, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Our Most High God wants to comfort us and lead us on the paths that will help us. He wants to heal our broken hearts and spirits that have been devastated by traumatic situations. However, we must sincerely accept God’s love and His Son, Jesus, as our personal Lord and Savior, to be able to receive His incomparable comfort and healing. 

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

John 14:6 (NKJV)

Jesus also said,

 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

Matthew 11:28 (NKJV)

Therefore, the first relationships that we should always rely on for comfort and healing are those with Father God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. They are the most important relationships we can ever experience on this journey that we call life. Supportive, godly relationships with other people are also essential for us to continue to be comforted during, and heal after, emotionally traumatic situations. The Lord knows our need for godly counsel, prayer and support, especially when we are weary and vulnerable to the lies of the enemy.

We all need a listening ear and a kind word from a godly person to lift our spirits when we are drained as the result of emotional and spiritual pain. He will surround us with people who love us and care deeply about our pain, but they may be people other than family members. The family was created to provide that kind of comfort and support. However, we do not live in a perfect world and our own family members may be the cause of some of the emotional pain and trauma that we suffer. Feelings of rejection, betrayal and abandonment can become intensely painful when trauma is caused by our loved ones. Loneliness and a feeling of isolation are lessened when we reach out to genuine Christians.

God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the stubborn and rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Psalm 68:6 (AMP)

Traumatic circumstances always break our hearts. People often carry emotional pain for years and decades without even realizing that suppressed pain and trauma are affecting them in significant areas of their lives. We were never meant to go through pain and trauma alone. Isolating ourselves during those circumstances is the worst thing we can do and only adds to the pain. That is why we must receive love and kindness from people who are living according to God’s Word—whom we can trust with our broken hearts—not in place of the Lord, but in addition to Him. 

We must reach out to godly friends, family, healing ministers and others who can provide prayer, encouragement and the love that we need for the healing process to be accomplished. Our Most High God created us to be in close relationship with Him and godly people. Cutting ourselves off from those relationships makes us incredibly susceptible to destructive feelings and to attacks from the devil. Fear of being hurt again can also cause us to be hesitant to reach out to people for help. However, The Lord will show us who can be trusted and through whom He wants us to receive His comfort and healing. We must receive God’s provision of healing for our broken hearts through His Son, Jesus, and the godly relationships with which He blesses us.

Jesus said,

The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

Jesus came to not only save us from our sins, but also to heal our broken hearts! A genuine, personal relationship with Him is essential in receiving comfort and healing during and after times of emotional pain and trauma. Our heavenly Father also blesses us with His love and peace through supportive, godly relationships with people who know how to listen and be compassionate when we are in emotional pain. Keeping emotional pain stuffed inside only makes things worse. We must let go of our pride, reach out to the Lord Jesus and His sincere followers, and allow them to help us.  

 

Kathy Shelton

 

 

Why did this happen to me?

  Trauma…

Abuse
Rape
Molestation
Divorce
Betrayal
Rejection
Abandonment
Domestic Violence
Death of a Loved One

The list goes on and on. These are all horrible things that can happen to us as we go through life. Traumatic events such as those above and others can cause intense pain in our hearts, minds and spirits!

We may ask ourselves the question, “Why did this happen to me?”  That is a dangerous question because it can lead to bitterness, anger, resentment, blaming God, or blaming ourselves. The pain from traumatic experiences can relentlessly torment us unless we receive healing and freedom from that pain and trauma. When deeply painful things happen to us, including the death of a loved one, betrayal, divorce, abuse, or any other traumatic event, we can be overwhelmed with so much emotional pain that it can lead to physical illness. Yes, the emotional and/or spiritual pain that we carry can, and often does, lead to short-term (acute) and long-term (chronic) physical illness.

The answer is not to allow the pain from the trauma to destroy us, or our relationships with the Most High God. The answer is not to stuff the pain. The answer is not to medicate it with illegal drugs. The answer is not to drown it in alcohol. The answer is not to do anything else harmful to try to deaden the pain. However, there are times, especially for those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), that medication is necessary and helpful to treat severe symptoms that are the result of extreme, life-threatening trauma. Medication may also be necessary to treat physical illness that results from trauma. However, the overuse of any medication can lead to addiction, which is often the result of deep emotional pain.

We must do our best not to focus on why the traumatic situations happened in our lives. Focusing on how to be more than conquerors through God in Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 8:37-39) is much better for our emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. The ultimate answer to the emotional and spiritual pain we suffer is to seek healing through Jesus Christ—the Healer. He came to set the captives free. He came to heal the brokenhearted (Luke 4:18). 

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;”  Luke 4:18 (NKJV)

There is so much that we have yet to learn about how pain and trauma affect our brains, our spirits, our DNA, and everything about us. However, as long as we continue to strive to receive the healing we need and not just give in to the pain, there is hope. The hope is in the fact that Jesus Christ came to heal the brokenhearted! As I stated above, we all have free wills. That is how we are able to accept God’s gift of salvation through the birth, death and resurrection of His Son, Jesus Christ. We are all given the opportunity to sincerely ask Jesus to be our personal Lord and Savior and spend eternity in Heaven. When we do that, we can have real hope.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13 (NKJV)

If you are in such intense emotional pain that you are using illegal drugs or over using prescribed drugs to medicate it, drowning it in alcohol, or participating in some other addiction or behavior that helps you to numb the pain, you need to realize that the cause of the pain must be addressed. We have to admit that we are brokenhearted. We have to acknowledge that the pain is damaging our relationships with others, especially our relationships with God. We have to draw as close to Him as we can, seek His healing, and seek His restoration. We must reach out for help in getting free and healed from the emotional and spiritual pain. There is help available through Christian prayer ministers and others who use the Holy Bible as their basis for helping people receive needed inner healing.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalm 34:18 (NASB)

Jesus will never cause you pain. He brings comfort. He brings healing. His healing is not superficial and it is not temporary. It is lasting and it is the only way to get out of the prison that the trauma has put you in. There is a light at the end of the very dark tunnel of emotional and spiritual pain. Jesus is that light!

The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. 
Jeremiah 31:3 (NKJV)

We can rejoice in that truth. God loves us with an everlasting love! He wants us to know that there is help available for the healing of our broken hearts through His Son, Jesus!

Kathy Shelton