Did I Just Do That?

Ungodly behavior and actions triggered by trauma

Walking in peace no matter what traumatic circumstances are happening around us—it takes time to mature to this point. No one can deny that we live in turbulent, trying times. Trauma can be a daily experience. However, God chose for each of us to live in such a time as this. In this article I want to talk about how to daily walk out Romans 12:2.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2 (NASB)

The battlefield of the mind is where there is a daily confrontation. God knows we are in a war and does not leave us defenseless. He has given us an array of arms, and He has told us how to dress and what weapons to use. When going to war, would you rather be in a tank or carrying a rifle on the ground? The term in war would be a force multiplier. Force multipliers are factors or combinations that give weapons greater force. A lot more damage to the enemy can be done with a tank rather than a rifle. The purpose of this article is to encourage us how and what to use when we battle to have godly behavior no matter the circumstances or the battle for our minds.

There are key principles that we must remember in this war between panic and peace. The enemy’s weapons are lies, deception and fear.

1) Remember, it’s a battle for the mind.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not wage battle according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NASB)

God’s weapons win the battle, and He calls us to use those weapons.

2) Put on His armor.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having belted your waist with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having strapped on your feet the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Ephesians 6:10-17 (NASB)

(Words in the above Scripture are in bold or underlined for emphasis.)

3) Know and use God’s force multipliers or weapons of war.

When we recognize we are not lone soldiers with a gun, but are in the “tanks” of God’s weaponry, we will be using God’s force multipliers. Our thoughts and perspectives will be entirely different.

Force Multipliers

Jesus (All authority is His)

These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not harm them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.

Mark 16:17,18 (NASB)

(Words in the above Scripture are in bold and underlined for emphasis.)

We obey police because of the authority they carry. Therefore, use the authority of Jesus.

Holy Spirit

You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

1 John 4:4 (NASB)

(Words in the above Scripture are in bold and underlined for emphasis.)

Remember, Who lives in you. Recognize which fortress you are living in, fear, or faithfulness of Holy Spirit.

Word

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there without watering the earth and making it produce and sprout, and providing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; so will My word be which goes out of My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:10,11 (NASB)

Declare the Word of God out loud. It is a weapon.

Angels

The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, and His sovereignty rules over all. Bless the LORD, you His angels, mighty in strength, who perform His word, obeying the voice of His word! Bless the LORD, all you His angels, you who serve Him, doing His will. Bless the LORD, all you works of His, in all places of His dominion; Bless the LORD, my soul!

Psalm 103:19-22 (NASB)

Ask God to send His angels to do what you cannot.

Prayer

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.

1 John 5:14,15 (NASB)

Then Elisha prayed and said, “LORD, please, open his eyes so that he may see.” And the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

2 Kings 6:17 (NASB)

Some thoughts on how to use the weapons/force multipliers when events trigger reactions:

Remember: The enemy’s primary weapons are fear and deception over traumatic events. Our weapons are to demolish these strongholds or fortresses that the adversary builds. Psalm 91 is about the protection we have in God’s fortress. “Abide in the shelter of the Most High.” The battle in the mind is which fortress are you occupying. Events happen. We choose how to react, who to trust, to whom are we listening—our resources or God’s promises.

God’s weapons are truth and shalom (peace). Daily put on God’s armor. Study Scripture with an eye for looking at His promises to help us, and use His provided weapons. Remember, we are not powerless (a lie) or defeated. The Holy Spirit lives within us, is always truthful and is all powerful. Pray with others. (Two tanks are mightier than one.) The Holy Spirit and angels do the heavy lifting, not us.

Kaaren Craig, All for Jesus Ministries’ Board Member

(edited by Kathy Shelton)

GODLY BOUNDARIES – No Door Mats!

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. 

Psalm 139:14 (NKJV)

Brokenhearted people often have major problems setting godly boundaries in their lives. The lies of the enemy, Satan, can cause a trauma victim to feel like they deserved the abuse and trauma that they suffered. They may feel like a doormat, being walked on over and over, because they were vulnerable and an easy target. That is how the enemy would like wounded Christians to view themselves. Embracing the true identity that the Lord God has created for His children enables them to reject Satan’s lies!

We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of the Most High God! The enemy would like us to forget that and see ourselves as less than the beautiful creations that we were meant to be, reflecting God Himself. When we are carrying pain and trauma in our hearts and spirits, our opinions of our worth and value can be skewed. Not having godly boundaries is agreeing with the devil that we are worth less than the enormous cost that Jesus paid to set us free. The true nature of who we are in God’s eyes can be distorted—which then causes us to accept more abusive treatment—and the destructive cycle continues. We must break that cycle by believing God’s Word and taking godly action to receive the freedom to be who God created us to be.

“I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty.”

2 Corinthians 6:18 (NKJV)

Genuine followers of Jesus Christ are sons and daughters of the Most High God, the Lord Almighty! We must protect our hearts, minds and spirits, realizing that we are precious to our Heavenly Father and that He is saddened when we do not do so. God chose to pay the ultimate price for us to become His sons and daughters when He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to suffer an excruciating death for our salvation. Jesus’ death and resurrection from the dead needs to be treasured for the amazing and incomparable gift it is to us by our valuing ourselves enough to set godly boundaries!

Connected to the practice of not having healthy, godly boundaries is fear, especially the fear of man. The fear of man—and what a person may think or do if we do not make them happy and comply with their requests or demands—is one of the most difficult things for people with broken hearts and spirits to overcome. Many people learn that the fear of man keeps them from suffering additional abuse and trauma. The fear of man becomes stronger with time and brokenhearted/traumatized individuals will often do anything to please people to avoid the consequences of not doing so.

We must understand that being a born-again Christian does not mean that we are supposed to allow repeated abuse. Nowhere did Jesus say that we have to trust someone to love them. He also did not say that we have to continue in relationship with those who continually cause us severe emotional or spiritual pain. Jesus told the woman who was caught in adultery to go and sin no more. If a person is not remorseful and repentant, we should not stay in the relationship unless the Lord leads us to do so, knowing the possibility of future reconciliation. If they honestly repent and/or seek help to stop the behavior, we should cautiously and with the Lord’s direction, support their pursuing freedom from the sin. However, allowing anyone to continue to hurt and abuse us is not how the Lord wants us to live. We must value ourselves as sons and daughters of the Most High God who loves us beyond anything we can imagine. It grieves Him when we don’t set godly boundaries with people.

Not setting godly boundaries in our own lives is a trap that the devil uses repeatedly to cause us emotional pain, especially in the lives of ministers. Sincere Christian ministers are compassionate. That is why they have entered ministry. They desire to help people and this desire drives them at times to neglect the wisdom of the Lord in setting healthy, godly boundaries in their lives.

Although followers of Jesus Christ should be “moved with compassion,” that does not mean they are supposed to allow people to deceive or take advantage of them. Setting godly, healthy boundaries is so important if we are going to run the race and stay in it to the end. People will test our boundaries just like children test the boundaries with their parents. It is not a sin or an ungodly practice to protect ourselves from exhaustion and unreasonable demands from others. Saying no to people is not sin. Of course, saying no applies only to people and not to the Lord. He will never ask us to do anything that He does not give us the strength and guidance to accomplish.

Godly boundaries are good walls. However, painful and traumatic situations happen in our lives that can break down the good walls that the Lord designed to shield us from evil. We tend to develop ungodly, destructive walls as a result. Those detrimental walls can separate us from the love of God and His Son, Jesus. Harmful walls can also prevent us from receiving the healing we need for emotional, mental and/or spiritual pain that exist inside us.

We cannot be truly healed unless we allow the finished work that Jesus did on the cross to penetrate the ungodly walls that we have built around our broken hearts and spirits. Jesus will remove the harmful walls as we receive His healing, and He will replace them with godly ones. Asking Jesus to gently and safely release the pain we are carrying and replace it with His love will help us to develop godly, healthy walls, or boundaries, in our lives.

Accepting help for healing and freedom from past pain and trauma can be a difficult and frightening thing to consider, because it involves facing the truth and being honest with others about what we have endured. This is especially true if the pain and trauma were caused by other professing Christians. However, we must return to the Lord’s truth that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and ask God for the courage to begin setting godly boundaries and to restore our true identity in Jesus’ name!

Kathy Shelton

What did THEY just say?

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.

Proverbs 18:21 (Amplified Bible)

If you have not already done so, please read the article titled, “What did you just say,” before reading this one (CLICK HERE). That article explains the basics of the power of the tongue and word curses.

Quite often, doctors and other medical professionals unknowingly say things to their patients that are word curses. They do not realize what they are doing. They do it because that is what they’ve been taught. Give the patient a diagnosis. Give the patient a prognosis. A prognosis is simply a prediction of future events based on the diagnosis. However, only God knows the future! Many of those diagnoses and prognoses are taken to heart by patients, and their conditions can worsen rapidly as a result of the word curses spoken over them.

Several people I have known, who were diagnosed with cancer, are examples of this principle. They were told by their doctors that they only had a short time to live. Within weeks, they were dead. They lost all hope as a result of the words spoken to them. Their hearts and spirits were broken.

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17:22 (NKJV)

In comparison, one Christian lady was diagnosed with brain cancer and told she only had a few months to live. She was a fighter and did not accept that prognosis. She did not accept the word curses spoken over her life. That godly woman survived for several decades defying the doctor’s prognosis.  Her attitude, faith and trust in God truly affected the longevity of her life. Sincerely following Jesus Christ was her passion and He extended her life far beyond what the doctors had predicted. Our attitude can make all the difference.

Doctors have decided that certain diseases and illnesses are incurable. They have told patients that. I was one of them. I was diagnosed in 1990 with a condition called biliary dyskinesia. The symptoms are extreme abdominal pain similar to a gallbladder attack where a gallstone is stuck in the bile duct. However, my gallbladder had been removed years before these attacks began. For over a year after the diagnosis, the doctors did everything they could, including several experimental procedures, but the attacks increased and the pain was excruciating. Eventually, I was told by one doctor that there was no cure and I would have to live with the condition for the rest of my life, taking very strong narcotic medication for the pain.

Many times, medication just masks the symptoms and does not cure the problem or disease. Our Heavenly Father is the Great Physician. He is more than able to cure any disease. Since I was only thirty-seven years old, the thought of living like that for the rest of my life was not something I was willing to accept. That prognosis did not take into account the amazing, miracle-working power of our Most High God who supernaturally healed me of that disease through prayer soon after the doctors gave up. Praise God!

Before I continue, I want to make something very clear. There are definitely times when medical procedures and medications are necessary to assist our bodies in the healing process. However, our Most High God enables them to work to restore our health and ability to function. I am not saying that doctors or medical professionals are wrong when they suggest treatments, but that we must be careful what we allow ourselves to accept as inevitable. The Lord may have a different outcome in His plan.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV)

Another group of professionals that often speak word curses over their patients are mental health professionals. They diagnose people as this or that. As they speak the diagnoses over the patients, they may be breaking their hearts and spirits more than they were already broken when they came to them for help. They are putting labels on the patients that make it even harder for them to get well, to be healed, and to be set free. Our Most High God is much bigger than any label that has been assigned to someone. He can heal a person regardless of what diagnosis and prognosis they have been given.

In Mark 5:1-20, the Bible gives the account of the man who was bound with chains because no one could tame him. He was cutting himself with stones. He was literally out of his mind. Today, he would certainly be given a diagnosis by mental health doctors. However, Jesus restored the man to his right mind by casting out unclean spirits. Jesus did not put a label on the man. He did not prescribe drugs for him to take. He compassionately set him free from what was tormenting his mind.  There are many people these days who have been diagnosed as mentally ill—who are suffering from broken heart issues and spiritual oppression. If they could receive the love and healing of Jesus Christ, they may not need the mind-altering medications that have been prescribed for them.

After they received the inner healing they needed for past emotional pain and trauma, some ladies to whom I ministered no longer required medication for depression. One of those ladies had been given an antidepressant drug a few months before she came to me for prayer. After Jesus ministered to her broken heart during several prayer sessions, she decided on her own to tell her doctor that she did not think she needed the medication any longer. He then helped her get weaned off the medication. (I have never told anyone to stop taking medication, but to talk to their doctor about medical decisions!) After that lady received inner healing prayer and had completely discontinued the antidepressant, she still experienced painful and traumatic life circumstances, but she did not feel the need for medication. She said that she was able to function much better overall and deal with the trials with Jesus’ help.  

People working in the criminal justice system are another example of professionals who may speak word curses over individuals. In the prisons, people with a history of criminal activity may be suffering from mental illness and severely broken hearts, but they may be told that they will always be criminals and never be able to stay out of prison. They may even hear that from their own family members or be told, “You are no good,” or “You are a bad apple.” Those are powerful word curses. They can make the difference between life and death.

The diagnoses and prognoses that I described above can take away hope. They do not give hope. The devil wants to destroy hope. We must not let him! We must look to our Most High God and His Son, Jesus, for our hope.

“… Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

Colossians 1:27 (NKJV)

The bottom line is this. Do not accept things that are spoken over you by anyone as always being truth and the end of the discussion.  Whether it is a doctor or mental health professional giving you a diagnosis or a prognosis, or a teacher, family member, or others speaking words over you, be careful what you accept as truth. Embrace the Bible. Embrace what the Word of God says about you! Embrace the fact that God loves you more than you can imagine and that He wants the best for His children.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV) 

We should give God much more credit than we do! We need to give the enemy, the devil, much less credit. We need to stop agreeing with the devil and the kingdom of darkness by speaking word curses over ourselves and other people.

Genuine Christians need to speak God’s promises out loud on a regular basis in spite of how things look in the natural realm. We must believe God and His Word, pray, and leave the rest in our Heavenly Father’s hands. God’s Word is full of encouraging promises for His children. They include the following verses.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Philippians 4:6-8 (NKJV)

So prepare your minds for action, be completely sober [in spirit—steadfast, self-disciplined, spiritually and morally alert], fix your hope completely on the grace [of God] that is coming to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 1:13 (Amplified Bible)

For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 2:16 (NKJV)

For as many as are the promises of God, in Christ they are [all answered] “Yes.” So through Him we say our “Amen” to the glory of God.

2 Corinthians 1:20 (Amplified Bible)

who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.

1 Peter 2:24 (NKJV)

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

 Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

Kathy Shelton

What did you just say?

Our words carry so much weight, especially in the spiritual realm. The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. As always, the Bible is absolutely true.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words.

Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) (portion underlined for emphasis)

We need to be very careful about the words that we allow to come out of our mouths. Word curses are real and they have significant power. People who are serving the kingdom of darkness know this very well. They speak word curses, curses, spells, and incantations, and they see the results of the words that come out of their mouths.

Genuine Christians are not exempt from speaking word curses. They do it all the time. I know numerous followers of Jesus Christ who have unintentionally spoken word curses over themselves or others. Destructive and unwanted situations can come upon us based on things that we have said about ourselves. We are responsible and accountable to the Most High God for what we do and every word we speak.

There is a difference between speaking a word curse and speaking the truth—saying something that is factual. An example of a factual statement would be saying, “My father just died.” That is not a word curse. That is a fact. “I just filed for bankruptcy,” is also not a word curse. That is a fact. However, if someone says, “I am telling you right now, you are going to file for bankruptcy within the next five years,” that is a word curse. They are ignoring the power of God in someone’s life when they say those words. People have told others, “You are going to end up _________!” (Fill in the blank with any negative circumstance.) That is another example of a word curse. That does not take the Lord’s power into account and acknowledge that all things are possible with God. We must be very careful what we allow to come out of our mouths!

Many of the women and men to whom I have ministered in personal inner healing sessions, or in group workshops and seminars, have been told as children that they were not good enough. They were told that they were stupid. They were told that they were ugly, too this, or too that. Those were word curses that affected them throughout their lives in many ways. It is a form of brainwashing that is tremendously hurtful to the person receiving those negative words.

Another example of the power of word curses in someone’s life is when a person is told that they are not smart enough to do whatever they think they would like to do. If they are told that by people who have significant authority and influence in their life, they will often just give up pursuing the dream they once had. Word curses can change the course of a person’s life!

Word curses can also be spoken in anger to us or by us to others. Words said in anger can be very damaging. The effects of those words are long-lasting and hurtful to our hearts and spirits.

One woman was told by several family members that if she divorced her husband, she would go to hell. All the people involved were professing Christians. Yet, they told this woman—who was being abused physically, emotionally, mentally, verbally, and sexually by her husband—that if she divorced her husband, she would go to hell. Their words could have kept her in bondage in that horrific marriage. She had two small children who were also being impacted by the ungodly actions of their father. That woman eventually divorced her husband. I don’t believe for one second that she is on her way to hell because she left her husband and his abuse. That does not line up with what the Bible teaches about God’s love for His children!

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting comfort and encouragement and the good [well-founded] hope [of salvation] by His grace, comfort and encourage and strengthen your hearts [keeping them steadfast and on course] in every good work and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 (AMP)

Christians need to diligently watch their words! So many people have used Scripture from the Bible, taken out of context, to speak word curses over others. That does not honor our Most High God, our loving heavenly Father. He says that He wants the best for us—that He has a future and a hope for us. He had a future and a hope for that young woman and her two children that did not include continuing to be subjected to that horrible abuse.

For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP)

Word curses from any source, including curses and all the evil words that people who are serving the devil and the kingdom of darkness speak, can have a huge impact on our lives. However, we can break word curses because of the power of the blood of Jesus Christ! What Jesus Christ did on the cross was more powerful than any word curse, spell, or curse that can possibly be spoken over us by Christians or non-Christians. Jesus’ blood provided the means for us to be set free from those curses. Jesus’ resurrection provided the power to break word curses. We have to believe it is possible and we have to pursue freedom. We also have to be walking with the Lord in a way that is free of known sin in our life. We cannot be straddling the fence. We cannot have one foot in the kingdom of God and one foot in the kingdom of darkness and expect to have the authority we need to break word curses that have been spoken over us.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness [of sin], we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we [really] walk in the Light [that is, live each and every day in conformity with the precepts of God], as He Himself is in the Light, we have [true, unbroken] fellowship with one another [He with us, and we with Him], and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin [by erasing the stain of sin, keeping us cleansed from sin in all its forms and manifestations].

1 John 1:6-7 (AMP)

We must be fully and totally sold out to the Most High God, the Creator of heaven and earth. Then we can apply the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, over us to cleanse ourselves from those curses. The most important part of that process is that we have fully given our hearts, minds, and spirits to our Most High God. We must have submitted ourselves to the Lord Jesus Christ and sincerely asked Him to be our personal Lord and Savior, not just our Savior, but our Lord and Savior. Repentance is crucial. Stopping ungodly habits and known sin is vital for us to be able to break word curses in Jesus’ name.

So produce fruit that is consistent with repentance [demonstrating new behavior that proves a change of heart, and a conscious decision to turn away from sin];

Matthew 3:8 (AMP)

Following the Lord’s guidance and obeying Him are essential for freedom from oppression caused by word curses. We cannot expect to have victory over the word curses that have been spoken to us, by us, or over us if we are not walking with the Lord to the best of our ability. It is not a game. Satan is very serious about wanting to destroy as many people as he can on this planet. He is doing a really good job. The devil is very disappointed when people become Christians. However, the devil doesn’t stop trying to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10) when someone makes the profession, “I am a Christian. Jesus is my Lord and Savior.” Satan does not end his attacks on us until the day we die. We have to stop giving him the pathway to attack us by using our own words, or by using words spoken over us by others. We have to break those word curses in Jesus’ name once we have genuinely surrendered our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ.

If you need help to receive freedom from word curses you have spoken or from word curses spoken by others, there is help available. Check out our HELPFUL RESOURCES page.

Word curses can play a part in causing our hearts to be broken. God does not want us to continue living with broken hearts! He wants the work that His Son did on the cross when Jesus said, “It is finished,” to be the source of victory in our lives. Take steps toward your victory by pursuing the freedom that you need from word curses. Begin the habit of speaking words of blessing over yourself and others. Be blessed today as you submit your life to Jesus Christ—the One who loves you more than you can imagine.

Kathy Shelton

The Trauma and Heartbreak of Spiritual Abuse

The seriousness of spiritual abuse and its effects cannot be overstated!

Spiritual abuse is the abuse of a person’s spirit. The deception accompanying spiritual abuse often keeps the victim in a state of confusion and disbelief. They may ask themselves, “How can people who are supposed to be helping me grow in the things of God be abusing me?” Unfortunately, spiritual abuse happens more often than one might imagine. The results are ugly and extremely damaging.

Since I began ministering to the brokenhearted, I have prayed with many women who have been spiritually abused. Yes, there are the obvious ritual abuse and Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) survivors who suffered horrific levels of spiritual abuse. There are also those who have come out of mainstream churches, “Christian” organizations, and non-Christian organizations where there was intense spiritual abuse that caused them substantial amounts of emotional and spiritual pain and trauma. Spiritual abuse can happen in religious organizations, but also in homes, schools and the workplace.

 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles have absolute power and lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them [tyrannizing them]. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your [willing and humble] slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many [paying the price to set them free from the penalty of sin].”

Matthew 20:25-28 (AMP)

Exerting power and control over another person using Scripture or religious beliefs is spiritual abuse. Anytime a person places themselves in authority over another person—in place of the ultimate authority of the Lord Jesus Christ—that is a recipe for spiritual abuse! When someone is told that the person in authority knows better because they “have a better connection to God,” that is a wide-open door to spiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is evil and it increases if left unchecked.

One of the ladies to whom I ministered in the past told me about an abusive incident, which was one of many, that she experienced with her husband. She had disagreed with him about something that a man in ministry was teaching. She said that her husband grabbed her arm, twisted it behind her back, and repeatedly yelled at her that she needed to repent for disagreeing with the minister. He told her that she needed to ask God to forgive her for having the “horrible” thought that the man in ministry could possibly be wrong. This lady was in tears as she shared the details of this event with me. It was physical, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse, as well as spiritual abuse! This is just one example of spiritual abuse being accompanied by other forms of abuse. It is often the case that emotional, verbal, mental, physical and/or sexual abuse happen together with spiritual abuse. 

The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,
But who can bear a broken spirit?

Proverbs 18:14 (NKJV)

The damage that is done to a person’s heart, mind and spirit—to their whole being—as the result of spiritual abuse can be overwhelming. It can be devastating. It can lead to the victim not being able to function normally. Survivors of spiritual abuse often struggle with anger. They experience different levels of anger as a result of the abuse. Most of the time, it is righteous anger and not sin.  The pain and trauma of spiritual abuse can also lead to suicide attempts, or a successful suicide, if the victim becomes hopeless about the possibility of relief from that pain.

 …we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.

2 Corinthians 1:8 (ESV)

People who are spiritually abusive often twist Scripture. They take Bible verses out of context. They manipulate people in ways that are absolutely inspired by the kingdom of darkness. Perpetrators of spiritual abuse also use isolation, secrecy, and fear to control their victims. They count on the victim’s silence about their abuse. All of these things make it very difficult for a victim to break free and receive the healing they desperately need for the emotional and spiritual pain and trauma.

Spiritually abusive people are sometimes deceived themselves into thinking that what they are doing is right. A lot of the perpetrators of spiritual abuse are deceived, and the nature of deception is that the person does not realize that they are deceived. However, that is no excuse and does not forgive their deeply harmful behavior, nor does it release them from accountability. They will answer to God for their actions. On the other hand, many perpetrators of spiritual abuse know exactly what they are doing!

Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots?
Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil.

Jeremiah 13:23 (NKJV)

Leopards cannot change their spots and abusers do not discontinue their abusive behavior, because they are accustomed to practicing evil. The perpetrators of spiritual abuse do not respond to the conviction of the Holy Spirit, nor does their conscience tell them that they have gone over the line. Normally, someone who is spiritually abusive only stops if they are forced to do so by an earthly authority or by the Lord. 

Several of the women to whom I have ministered were survivors of Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA). One of those ladies told me the reason that the abuse finally stopped for her. The high priest was in the process of murdering her when he suddenly and unexplainably died. His neck snapped. The lady told me that she believed angels came to her assistance at the precise time when the perpetrator was going to end her life. I do not believe that the high priest would have stopped otherwise. The Lord came to her rescue!

 Are not all the angels ministering spirits sent out [by God] to serve (accompany, protect) those who will inherit salvation? [Of course they are!]

Hebrews 1:14 (AMP)

People may ask, “Why does God allow people to be spiritually abused? Why doesn’t He stop it?” It is the same reason that He does not stop sin in general in this world. God has given a free will to everyone. We need to stop blaming God for all the horrific things that happen and put the blame where it belongs—on the human beings who make the choice to be abusive and on the kingdom of darkness that inspires those evil choices. Spiritual abuse is one of Satan’s many tools to destroy human hearts, minds and spirits.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10 (NKJV)

When people sincerely invite Jesus Christ to be their personal Lord and Savior, they are often brokenhearted because they have experienced significant pain and trauma in the past. Many times, what draws them to the Lord Jesus Christ is that He is so loving and forgiving, and it is an opportunity to be accepted in spite of all their past sin, pain, and trauma. However, their woundedness also makes them easy targets for those who are spiritually abusive. Christians, especially new Christians, can be too trusting of other people, which can lead to them being spiritually abused.

Jesus Christ is never spiritually abusive. He never tries to force anyone to do anything against their will. Jesus understands the frailty of human beings. He understands the sin nature of human beings and how it can interfere with our relationship with God. He did not accept or condone sin, but He forgave sin and told people to “go and sin no more.” That is God’s will for us—that we would be forgiven and that we would not repeat the sin in the future. That is called repentance. Abusers rarely repent! Although they may call themselves Christians, they are not truly following Jesus Christ. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.

Matthew 7:15 (NKJV)

If you are currently suffering spiritual abuse or you are a survivor of spiritual abuse, I would highly recommend that you seek help from a trained, Christian prayer minister or counselor who can give you the assistance you need to obtain freedom from the emotional and spiritual pain you are carrying. Seek someone who can help you receive the healing you need from the effects of that abuse. There are suggested resources on the HELPFUL RESOURCES page on this website (CLICK HERE).

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation [that is, the atoning sacrifice, and the satisfying offering] for our sins [fulfilling God’s requirement for justice against sin and placating His wrath].

1 John 4:10 (AMP)

God loves you and He wants you to be whole. He wants you to be free. He wants your heart and spirit to be healed. He has a destiny for your life and it is not for you to experience or suffer spiritual abuse and its effects any longer. Please make the decision today to step out and pursue your healing and freedom. It is worth it. You are worth it!

May God bless you! My prayer for you is that you will have the strength to stand up and make today the first day of the rest of your life—free from spiritual abuse.

Kathy Shelton

 

The Tragedy of Suicide

The tragedy of suicide, taking one’s own life, occurs throughout the world. It is not limited to any age, gender, religion, or ethnic group, although the suicide rate is higher in some countries.

The World Health Organization estimates that approximately 800,000 people die from suicide each year, or one death every 40 seconds. There are indications that for each adult who died by suicide there may have been more than 20 others who attempted suicide. In 2019, the countries with the top 5 rates of suicide were Lithuania, Russia, Guyana, South Korea and Belarus. Nearly 30% of all suicides worldwide occur in India and China. Youth suicide is increasing at the greatest rate and young people are now the group at highest risk in a third of all countries.

The incidence of suicide is at an epidemic level in the United States. According to one news report in November 2018, the U.S. suicide rate was at a 50-year high! The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, AFSP, reports that suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. More people die—on average 132 per day—as a result of suicide than car accidents in the U.S. That is over 48,000 deaths due to suicide in the U.S. per year.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in the U.S. reports that suicide is the #2 cause of death for people between the ages of 10 and 34. In addition, there were approximately 1,400,000 Americans who attempted suicide in 2017. Women attempt suicide 1.4 times more often than men, but men die as the result of suicide 3.5 times more often than women. Physicians have been reported to have a higher rate of suicide—twice as high—than any other profession.

Veterans in the U.S. have been taking their own lives at the rate of at least 20 per day. More than 6,000 veterans die by suicide annually. Active-duty, U.S. military suicides were at a record high in 2018 with a total of 321, including Marines, sailors, airmen and soldiers.  That was the highest number of suicides among active-duty personnel in at least 6 years.

All for Jesus Ministries is based in New Mexico in the United States.  New Mexico’s rate of suicide has consistently been more than 50% higher than the U.S. rate. Sadly, New Mexico had the fourth highest suicide rate in the U.S. in 2016. One suicide every 19 hours—more than one per day—occurs in New Mexico. Approximately 491 people died by suicide in New Mexico in 2017. That is more than deaths resulting from breast cancer or people driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

The above statistics do not take into account that, due to shame or disgrace, suicide is generally underreported.  Attempting suicide, or actually committing suicide, is usually the result of unbearable emotional, mental, spiritual or physical pain and trauma. Trauma includes the death of a loved one, divorce, any type of abuse, rape, being subjected to war or terrorism, a homicidal attempt on one’s life, domestic violence, serious accidents and natural disasters. The debilitating symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can lead to suicide.

For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia: that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life.

2 Corinthians 1:8 (NKJV)

Paul wrote about despairing even of life in 2 Corinthians 1:8. According to 2 Corinthians 11:23-28, Paul had gone through unimaginable trials, including beatings with rods, whippings with thirty-nine lashes five times, perils everywhere he went, surviving a ship wreck, sleeplessness, hunger and thirst, being stoned, and being thrown into prison. He endured those things without losing hope, yet in the province of Asia, something burdened him beyond measure and above strength, causing him and his companions to despair of life itself. However, they did not commit suicide, but trusted in God to deliver them. Paul said that the prayers of others brought them through their season of hopelessness.

A broken heart is often the starting point for suicidal thoughts. The person who attempts or commits suicide has lost hope that the pain will stop any other way. The enemy of our souls, the devil, adds to that hopelessness by agreeing with the person that suicide is the answer. A demonic spirit of suicide may be attached to the pain, and the combination can be deadly. When someone commits suicide, they escape the pain and trauma, but their loved ones and friends are left with devastating pain and trauma as a result and their hearts are broken into hundreds of pieces.

Suicide is a tragedy that can often be prevented. How? First and foremost, the person needs to sincerely ask Jesus Christ to come into their life and be their personal Lord and Savior. That does not automatically mean that all the pain and suicidal thoughts will instantly disappear, although that can happen. In fact, people who are followers of Jesus Christ are not unaffected by the devastation or the finality of the act of suicide, but they have the opportunity to receive healing and freedom from emotional and spiritual pain. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Healing and freedom are possible through Jesus Christ!

Feeling alone and isolating oneself from others only increases the emotional pain. During the coronavirus pandemic, Covid-19, people have been more isolated than ever in an attempt to control the spread of the virus. Loneliness and depression can result, but do not have to lead to suicide.

Before the pain gets to the point where someone gives up and attempts to take his or her own life, they need to talk to someone. Talking about the pain and trauma can be very comforting and it can release some of the pressure. If necessary to avoid an irreversible act of suicide, they should seek help from a trained crisis counselor or a qualified Christian counselor or minister. Not all Christian counselors or ministers understand the enormous spiritual dynamics involved in the hopelessness that leads to suicide. However, there is help available for those who are despairing of life itself.

There are things that we can do to counteract the isolation and loneliness during Covid-19. As followers of Jesus Christ, we must put His teachings into practice. Spending dedicated time with the Lord in prayer is an essential part of fighting loneliness and depression. Reading God’s Word, the Bible, out loud and listening to praise and worship music are also extremely important. We must also control what we allow ourselves to see and hear. Turning off and/or not reading negative and upsetting news stories, commentaries, emails and text messages protects our hearts, minds and spirits from further trauma. These are very traumatic times and even the most devoted Christians can be knocked off balance if they are not careful to focus on the Lord and His goodness.

Life is a precious gift from our Most High God and He wants us to live out our destinies as His children and followers of His Son, Jesus.  Satan wants to steal our life purposes, to kill us, and to destroy God’s plans for our lives.  However, Jesus came so that we could have abundant life as He said in John 10:10.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10 (NKJV)

Since we are prayer ministers, not counselors or mental health professionals, we always recommend that anyone with severe emotional symptoms seek out the help of medical doctors and trained Christian counselors in their local area and country.

In the event of an emergency situation for someone who is contemplating suicide in the United States, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255, or contact the Crisis text line by texting “TALK” to 741741.

We do not suggest that we know and understand all of the aspects of mental illness, especially the effects of mind-altering drugs and prescription medications. However, we have observed that emotional pain is often accompanied by spiritual considerations that need to be addressed in the spiritual realm through prayer. Biblical inner healing prayer may help someone who has experienced suicidal thoughts, depending on the individual’s specific circumstances. When Jesus releases past pain and trauma through prayer, it also often results in the removal of suicidal tendencies. Praise the Lord!

Jesus Christ came to fulfill the Scriptures in Isaiah 61:1-3, including the following:

“…to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning,
the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

Jesus wants us to live in His joy!
Kathy Shelton

 

Devotionals for the Brokenhearted!

Kathy Shelton has created a devotionals blog for those who have experienced any type of pain and trauma. Kathy adds devotional posts twice a week on Mondays and Fridays.

To view the devotionals page, CLICK HERE.  

You can follow her devotional blog via email by signing up on the right side bar of the HOME page. After you submit your email address and confirm your subscription, you will automatically receive the newly posted devotionals to your email inbox.